After Sepp Blatter, 5 Invites Vladimir Putin Needs To Make For The World Cup
Vladimir Putin “would be glad” to see banned FIFA dignitaries Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini at the 2018 World Cup, according to the Russian president’s spokesperson Dmitry Peskov. Blatter and Platini have both received lengthy bans from FIFA for their roles in a secret payment made from Blatter’s FIFA to Platini, then the UEFA boss. The two held their posts atop the federations when Russia was awarded the 2018 World Cup (and Qatar for 2022, but that’s another story).
But if Putin wants to have those two less-than-savory characters at his country’s World Cup, why stop there? Here are five more Putin World Cup invites he should personally give out for next summer’s World Cup.
The former vice president of FIFA from Trinidad and Tobago said he felt like dancing when his country helped keep the United States out of the World Cup earlier in October. Putin doesn’t seem to like the U.S. and instead prefers to meddle with American politics, so what better way to poke at American soccer fans than by hosting Warner at the Kremlin next summer.
Sure, Warner was forced to resign from FIFA in 2011 after his corruption schemes were finally revealed, but financial improprieties didn’t stop Putin from welcoming Blatter and Platini to the World Cup. Who cares if Warner is a crazy man? He’ll fit right in.
Diego Maradona is one of the greatest players to have ever graced a soccer pitch, but he’s had a bit of a checkered past off the pitch. The 1986 World Cup winner with Argentina was already in Russia for the Confederations Cup this summer and professed his love for Putin.
Maradona has had drug problems, alcohol problems, relationship problems, political problems, money problems and weight problems throughout his incredible life. So he’s the perfect role model for a World Cup in Russia alongside Blatter and Platini.
Chuck Blazer may no longer be with us, but his cats are hopefully still living the high life. The man who once rented a $6,000-per-month apartment in Trump Tower just for his cats was banned for life by FIFA, but his cats were not.
Putin’s three dogs — Buffy, Yume and Verni — might want some extra attention and would probably love to play host to some American felines while everyone else is focused on a boring human game. Plus, look at how great Putin is with cats.
The former U.S. Attorney General was integral in the disintegration of the FIFA power structure, leading to the indictment of at least 14 senior FIFA officials in 2015. Her work, however, came too late for the 2018 and 2022 World Cup decisions, which defied logic by going to the less-than-democratic nations of Russia and Qatar.
An invite from Putin himself to Lynch would be a sly way of telling her that he knows what she’s done and he hasn’t forgotten how she kicked out many of the people responsible for putting the World Cup in Russia.
Absolute rulers need to stick together and Putin should take the time to get to know one of the best, the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un. The World Cup would be a perfect opportunity for the two to get to know each other, exchange fear-mongering tactics and maybe even discuss nuclear disarmament.
It’s no secret Kim Jong-un is a big sports guy. He has a great relationship with Dennis Rodman, loves the NBA and is apparently a fan of Manchester United. No doubt he’d bite at the chance to watch the World Cup in person.