A Terrifying Look Inside Arsenal’s Virtual Reality Training Techniques

When an old man with white hair tells you where to put your supple human hands, you do it.

Arsene Wenger has a process, a recipe if you will, for how he wants things done. In an effort to reach his young charges, the venerable, white-haired Professor has created a training simulation using virtual reality to turn raw ingredients into mouthwatering fare. 

Here’s a taste of what he’s cooked up: 

It’s a bit frightening, but that’s the point. Arsenal players must toughen up, with a crispy outer layer of seasoning and experience. 

The Gunners haven’t won the league since Christian Pulisic was 6 years old and they really need to be whipped into shape. They need discipline; they can’t just be running around the pitch like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. 

 

Fortunately for us, we have video of a young Reiss Nelson going through the training video.

See how Wenger masterfully guides Nelson through the process of preparing for the big time. Wenger doesn’t roast or grill his pupil, though he does use pressure to ensure Nelson is properly prepared. 

If Nelson and the rest of the Gunners can follow their colonel's directions, perhaps Arsenal can finally escape the delicious prison of top four five finishes and reach golden perfection.

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