Mario Balotelli has threatened to do the unthinkable if his new team, Nice, win France's Ligue 1: fly a helicopter over the city.
Nice are first in the French league right now, due in part to Balotelli's return to goal-scoring form. Balotelli isn't just content with scoring goals and winning, though. He wants to plunge the world into chaos.
Here's the quote, from Mediaset (bolding ours):
"There are a lot of youngsters in the team and the coach is very good and I've found everything favourable. There's still a long way to go, but if we do win the title, I'm going to fly a helicopter over Nice."
We assume he said this menacingly.
We can think of nothing that will galvanize the rest of Ligue 1 into playing their hearts out more than the thought of Mario Balotelli piloting a helicopter.
We are now officially PSG fans. We love Mario Balotelli and think he's great and fun and a positive person to have in the world of soccer, but he must not be allowed to fly a helicopter, much less fly it near other people.
This man couldn't handle fireworks or cars. Let's not give him a helicopter.