Freddy Adu's Movie Reviews: Rotten Stouffer's

Which movies and TV shows are certifiably fresh and packed with powerful protein? Let Freddy Adu be the judge of that.

Freddy Adu needs no introduction. After Sierra Mist told everyone that he would fix the ozone layer as a 14-year-old boy wonder, he instead went on to play professional soccer for 13 years while representing his country 17 times. A lot of people still aren’t happy about that and want him to get up there and fix that damn part of the stratosphere, but we say just leave him alone. 

The lastest from Mr. Adu on the pitch was at the DC United Legends Match back in October, where he finessed a left-footed effort inside the far post. Have some.

He’s currently in Maryland, hopefully watching movies and television shows for the sake of this page's posterity. Regardless, we'd love to see Freddy return to playing ball, and we hope he leads a wonderful life to the end of his days.

But let’s move on to more important things. Let’s move on to what we’re really here for: a dynamic, cutting edge review aggregator webpage that channels Freddy’s thoughts on movies and television shows to assign them a Stouffer's Lasagna Rating. 

Why Freddy Adu and why Stouffer's? Because Freddy Adu loves movies, television shows and Stouffer's, and not necessarily in that order.

Stouffer's are easy to make (and packed with protein), allowing you to get right to watching. You don’t even need dishes or anything, which is another plus if you’re stuck in the body of a 14-year-old.

Freddy Adu

Freddy Adu dribbles at a Stouffer's FitKitchen meal. Photo: @FreddyAdu | Twitter

As a professional athlete, Adu’s got a lot of downtime to recover and prepare for the next whatever.

See? How could you not trust this man? He's seen 95 percent of everything that's out there. Just think about that. That's incredible.

Adu knows more about entertainment than Siskel and Ebert combined. He’s like a young man’s Chuck Klosterman, totally in tune with pop culture except way more into Christian Bale movies.

Anytime a new show or movie drops, you’ll want to see whether it was a Certified Fresh Stouffer's Lasagna, Just Your Average/Everyday Stouffer's Lasagna or a Rotten Stouffer's Lasagna.


Freddy’s Certified Fresh Stouffer's Lasagnas

Fresh Lasagna

These movies, like a good lasagna, have many layers.

Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones (there's more to be said)

Game of Thrones (so much more)

Wonder Woman

Les Miserables

The Great Debaters




Ip Man

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Ultimate Edition)

The Dark Knight

Seriously, The Dark Knight. Check it out.


Man of Steel

Cloud Atlas

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Just the character Yoda

The Bourne Collection

Shark Tank

Any movie with Liam Neeson 


Freddy's Average/Everyday Stouffer's Lasagnas

Average Stouffers

This is just your normal Stouffers.

Suicide Squad


Daredevil Season II 

Making a Murderer

The Avengers

Shark Week

Freddy's Rotten Stouffer's Lasagnas

Rotten Stouffers

DO NOT watch these.


Total Recall

Movies made before Freddy was born

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