Yaya Toure’s UEFA Champions League testimonial match went off without a hitch on Wednesday, the Manchester City midfielder ponderously strolling around the Bernabéu pitch and gently reminding his teammates not to forget his going away cake.
Like Ernest Hemingway’s aging Cuban fisherman Santiago, it almost certainly would've taken 85 days of play before Toure could've netted a goal against Real Madrid.
With Pep Guardiola set to massively overhaul the Manchester City squad this summer, Yaya Toure has taken his final European bow with City. Well, it was more of a resigned slouch. So that’s that then.
It was a damning final European performance for Toure in a Man City shirt. Berated on social media, Toure looked more “human centipede” than the reputed “human train” he’s been billed as over the course of 60 minutes at the Bernabéu.
Yaya Toure in midfield for City tonight like...pic.twitter.com/fcxnva7z2I
— Sunday League FC (@SundayLeagueFC) May 4, 2016
Largely anonymous and outeverythinged by Real Madrid’s midfield duo of Luka Modric and Toni Kroos, Toure’s invisible performance stood in stark contrast to the efforts of his peers at this level. On Tuesday, we were treated to irrepressible performances from midfielders Arturo Vidal, Gabi and Koke.
In comparison, Guardiola must realize that replacing the influential but irreversibly aging Toure is of the highest importance — it’s something he’s already accomplished. At Barcelona, Guardiola favored the influence of Sergio Busquets in the midfield, allowing Toure to abscond to City for a fee of around £24 million.
Yaya Toure's game by numbers vs. Real Madrid:
— Squawka Football (@Squawka) May 4, 2016
Now, approaching his 33rd birthday, the heights of Toure’s monstrous 2013/14 campaign seem ages ago. Since scoring 24 goals over the course of that season, the Ivorian has seen his goal scoring totals drop to 12 (2014/15) and now 8 (2015/16).
For a player that’s led City through its most successful era in 122 years, the bashing is bordering on the spiteful. With City, he’s a two-time Premier League champion, an FA Cup winner and two-time League Cup winner.
However, the lasting image of Toure may well be this listless, seemingly depraved body language that, for detractors, summarizes the entire City approach: no heart, no passion and an indulgent willingness to coddle themselves rather than fight for the badge.
"Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated." Photo: @demarkesports | Twitter
Farewell, Yaya.
