On Friday, world football’s governing body (FIFA) elected its new president: Gianni Infantino. In the second round of voting Infantino garnered 115 votes, almost 30 votes ahead of his nearest competitor, becoming just the 9th President in the history of FIFA.
The victory for the Swiss-Italian lawyer should (barring any mishaps, which, considering FIFA’s track record, isn’t a guarantee) see him head the organization until 2019.
This is a good thing. I want to make that abundantly clear. However, for as much as the election was a positive, and for as much as the organization needed a new face to lead them into a new era, it was also not the best thing that could have happened for one simple reason: there was a better man for the job.
Now that’s not to say Infantino isn’t a good dude, or doesn’t deserve the position. For all intents and purposes he seems like a nice guy with good intentions. In fact, I’m confident saying that he’d be quite pleasant to share a lemonade with on a warm summer day. But there was always only one man right for the job. One man to turn the the dark and corrupt world of FIFA into an organization of honor and integrity. One man to bring together the world and realize true footballing peace: Tim Tebow.
Think about it: Tim Tebow would have been the perfect president. He’s hard-working, can motivate the masses, has a great moral compass and knows a thing or two about football (the fact that his football of expertise is the kind played with a helmet and egg shaped ball is beside the point. Football is football, right?).
Not only that, but Tebow is the only person on the planet that has never done anything wrong in his entire existence.
Seriously, it’s widely known that the former Denver Bronco No. 15 has not once placed a single foot outside the confines of perfection (excluding the football field, of course, he threw a few interceptions in his time in the NFL). Not even babies can say that. They throw up and stuff. By contrast, Tebow wakes up and his hair is perfect and somehow he’s started four charities in his sleep. The guy is amazing.
But it’s not just his character and knowledge that make him the ideal FIFA president. He’s also a rather imposing physical specimen. You think people are going to ask for handouts, or under the table money from a guy who can bench press a shark? I don’t think so.
Excerpt From Tim Tebow's Hypothetical Acceptance Speech:
"I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any person in the entire world lead as hard as I will lead. You will never see someone push the rest of the FIFA as hard as I will push them. You will never see a governing body work harder than we will work. God Bless."
Oh what could have been. (Eyes longingly drift off into a distant gaze. 10 seconds pass. No, 15 seconds. No, 30 seconds, just thinking about what could have been.)
Perhaps it’s time to start campaigning for 2019?
(Donations for Tim Tebow’s 2019 campaign are now being accepted on Twitter @devonnewport. Fork it over people, it’s for a good cause!)
