Ladies and gentleman, the Bitter Englishman has a very important topic to discuss today, one that affects every one of our lives more than most would like to admit. It’s a topic that’s hard to address, one from which many hide. Some would say it fits right up there with religion and politics as the three items one should never discuss at a dinner party.
I’m talking about, of course, the debate over whether to call our sport football or soccer.
Well, the Bitter Englishman is here to say he does not give a flying fuck what you call it.
Look, we Brits invented the damn word soccer, so to now go and tell Americans they can’t use it is some real post-imperial bullshit if I’ve ever seen it. I’m an unabashed Englishman and I use the word football, but when I hear a Yankee say soccer I don’t feel the need to bash his head in with a pint glass.
We should be more civil than to argue over diction — soccer and football mean the same thing, they both stand for the game we all love. You don’t hear Americans and Englishmen getting into heated arguments over whether or not it’s an elevator or a lift, a sneaker or a trainer, a road game or an away match.
OK, maybe that last one may be stepping over the line. But when it comes to soccer vs. football, the Bitter Englishman is fine with both, and you should be too. Just enjoy the damn game.
