1. Chelsea Look Scarily Good
One-nil down to Burnley after a quarter-of-an-hour, it took Chelsea only 20 minutes to move into a 3-1 lead. Although it was by no means one-way traffic, for the first half at least the West Londoners looked as though they could score at will, which must instill great confidence in a side that struggled for goals last season. They have the best manager in the league, two of the best goalkeepers in Europe, the stingiest defense from last year’s Premier League and one of the most prolific goal-scorers from La Liga last season. Oh, and Cesc Fabregas pulling the strings. Ridiculous as it may be to nominate goals of the season one week in, Andre Schurrle’s strike against Burnley contained a gazillion (yep, we counted them) passes, a mazy Hazard run, an inch-perfect, visionary through-ball from Fabregas and an instinctive finish from their World Cup winner. That said, Diego Costa’s earlier poacher’s strike from ten yards out probably gave Mourinho more pleasure: Torres would have skied it.
2. United Are Three Quality Players Short
Not exactly a revelation, but Saturday proved beyond doubt that Man United desperately need cover at Left Back, a dominant Centre Half and a Defensive Midfielder capable of protecting United’s back line. If not for the practical reasons of filling three vast holes in their squad, the Red Devils need to make two-to-three big, big signings as a statement of intent. For too long this summer they have flattered to deceive in the transfer market, and Saturday ruthlessly exposed their deficiencies. Van Gaal said after the Swansea game that it only takes a day to sign a new player. Prove it, Louis, before it’s too late.
3. Joy For Gunners: Arsenal Win Ugly
This was the sort of game that, in seasons past, Arsenal would have done their best to lose. Physical and scrappy, Crystal Palace did all they could to present Arsene Wenger’s men with the sort of test they’ve habitually failed. But lo! Perhaps buoyed by their FA Cup success last year, Arsenal seem to have found a way to win whilst playing ugly: one of the key’s to winning a league title. If they can combine the sort of dazzling performance we witnessed in the Community Shield with the fortitude and grit to find last-minute winners when they’re not at their peak, Arsenal can be a threat this season.
4. Liverpool Haven’t Learnt a Thing Since Last Season….
…..And how marvellous it is. Still woefully inept at the back, still thrilling to watch for the neutral. Liverpool again look like being the team to watch this season. Raheem Sterling showed some dazzling moments of promise, and Daniel Sturridge did his best to prove there are still goals in this Liverpool side after Suarez. Regardless of whether they make a marquee signing to replace the Uruguayan, long may their tactical naivety continue to beguile us.
5. Crystal Palace Face a Long, Long Season
11th last season having been bottom of the league when manager Tony Pulis took over in November, Crystal Palace lost their savior just two days before the start of the new term. Pulis is understood to have left following disputes with Palace Chairman Steve Parish over a lack of signings this summer, though some suggest he has his eye on a higher profile managerial appointment. Regardless, Palace have been left high and dry, and Saturday’s last-minute loss to Arsenal will have done nothing to lift their mood. Without Pulis’s organizational abilities and tactical acumen, one fears for Palace this season. With less than two weeks of the transfer window to go, the Eagles must appoint a new manager sooner rather than later, but Lord have mercy on their souls if they end up with Tim Sherwood.
6. Vanishing Spray Is Here To Stay
Cheered to the hilt every time it was removed from a referee’s holster, it would appear that Vanishing Spray (or “Imaginary Spray” as one particularly misguided pundit calls it) is to middle-aged men what loom bands are to teenage girls and saccharine British royals. Forget your vuvuzelas, Fellaini wigs or giant foam fingers, a canister of disappearing foam is what every discerning fan wants. Whilst The18 doesn’t currently own a broker-dealer license (give it time), we strongly recommend buying shares in spray-makers 915 Fair Play (please note: we strongly recommend you do nothing of the sort).
