Being a coach is tough. Making sure players show up, sending countless emails and managing the expectations of every parent can make the whole experience of coaching a youth team seem like herding cats.
On top of that, coaches have to listen to the same excuses time after time after time. Some are reasonable, some are ridiculous and all of them are a coach's least-favorite part of the job. At least one can laugh about them later. Here's a list of excuses that, at one time or another, every coach has heard.
Practice is at 6:30. Practice is always at 6:30. Practice has never not been at 6:30. Practice will never not be at 6:30. But you forgot. Cool.
My halftime team talk is going to be teaching you guys how to use Google Maps.
Today I'm going to teach you about a little thing called "preventative maintenance."
Oh come on what kind of person doesn't enjoy a good mudder?
If you miss practice again you might want to ask the aliens if they'll take you back.
Old Golmar is harmless as a newborn kitten. Man can barely swing his axe anymore.
And I would really like to know why.
Haven't we been over this? Preventative maintenance. Oil changes.
Better get me Charlie Sheen's autograph, then.
Fair enough.
You spend 75 percent of your waking hours staring at your phone. How is this possible?
You should just change your email address to lazysoccerplayer@nonsense.com.
Benjamin Franklin once said "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." Any soccer coach who has to listen to the above excuses over and over and over again will probably agree. For coaches who have had enough of excuses and want to get to coaching actual soccer, TeamSnap can make that process much more manageable.
