Thomas Muller Is International Football's Weird Uncle

Germany attacker Thomas Muller does whatever he wants whenever he wants, and usually that thing is odd.

Thomas Muller is one of the most dangerous attacking players in the world. He's deceptive on the ball, tricky in the box and lethal on goal.

Which sounds weird, because Thomas Muller is the crazy uncle of international soccer. Thomas Muller is international soccer's crazy uncle because he behaves exactly like your crazy uncle.

Your crazy uncle isn't crazy, per se, but he's definitely a little . . . touched. He "marches to the beat of his own drummer", or whatever.

Look me in the eye and tell me that isn't a dance your weird uncle would do. The one who knows every single magic trick and has the exact same sense of humor you had when you were eight. Y'all were best friends when you were eight.

He doesn't care what anyone watching thinks of him, he just wants to wear a silly hat and put fake dog poop somewhere.

He's the first one to dress up like a clown (and also he knows how to tie balloon animals) and make all the other adults around kind of roll their eyes but also be kind of impressed with his commitment. He pulls quarters from ears, puts plastic flies in the potato salad and does whatever he can to make nearby small children laugh.

He is who he is, no one else.

So anyway, that's Thomas Muller.


Contact The18 Staff Writer Sam Klomhaus at or follow him on Twitter @SamKlomhaus

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