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Real Madrid Have The Worst Fans On The Planet

Real Madrid absolutely demolished Celta Vigo on Saturday. Cristiano Ronaldo scored four goals as Real cruised to a comfortable 7-1 victory. Celta Vigo visited the Santiago Bernabeu near the top of the La Liga table, in sixth place and trailing Villarreal by 11 points in the race for a coveted Champions League spot.

Facing a Real Madrid team caught in the storm of a miniature crises, they’d recently been held by Malaga and defeated by fierce rivals Atletico Madrid, you could be forgiven for believing that Celta Vigo were perfectly placed to deepen the malaise surrounding the 10-time European champions. The Los Blancos squad was subjected to a chorus of jeers and whistles before they’d even kicked off.

Cristiano Ronaldo, enemy of the people and his own teammates, was especially harangued for claiming that the Real Madrid squad was not on his level. If that critique was related to performance, there can be no gripes from anyone associated with Real Madrid. His total of 352 goals in 335 Real Madrid appearances, if reproduced by everyone within the team, would result in continuous performances no different from the rout we witnessed this weekend.

If the critique was with regards to his own physical fitness, well, we’re going down the same path of logic here. Ronaldo is a freak of nature. 

Enjoy

A photo posted by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

And yet, regardless of the infallibility of Ronaldo’s claims, he was jeered by home supporters. The greatest marksman in the history of the Champions League and Real Madrid’s all-time top goalscorer, Cristiano Ronaldo was whistled despite being the centerpiece of a team that have lost on only four occasions this season.

Third in La Liga, knocked out of the Copa del Rey due to an off-the-field sanction and all but guaranteed a place in the Champions League quarterfinals, Real Madrid supporters act with feigned shock as to why Europe will not, in a matter of mere ceremony, award them every available trophy for all of eternity.

The FIFA Club of the Century is supported the ultimate cretins of the last 200,000 years. New manager Zinedine Zidane, a whole 11 games into his stewardship of the club, is already being criticized for not being a vocal enough leader as a player, nevermind the fact that this has nothing to do with being a coach. Given time, winning over 70 percent of his games won’t be enough to quell dissent within the Spanish capital either. 

Jose Mourinho was sacked as Madrid manager after compiling a ridiculous win percentage of 71.91. Carlo Ancelotti’s was even more impressive, coming in at 74.79. It’s a widely agreed upon fact among Real fans that Rafa Benitez, given only 25 games in charge, was one of the worst managers in recent memory.

His win percentage was a miserly 68. For perspective, Arsene Wenger, one of the greatest Premier League managers of all-time, has a win percentage of 57.3 with Arsenal.     

Winners of 32 La Liga titles, 19 Copa del Reys and 10 European titles, Real are desperately struck with a sense of foreboding whenever anyone mentions anything relatively good not concerning themselves. Barcelona? Damn them. Gareth Bale? Buy him. Paul Pogba? You’re next

In comparison, Manchester United’s accomplishments of 20 league titles, 11 FA Cups and 3 European titles ultimately pale. Sir Alex Ferguson served as manager of Manchester United for 27 years, winning 59% percent of his matches and was heralded as the finest manager in the club’s history. Miguel Munoz boasts the same win percentage and compliments with Real Madrid. Unsurprisingly, he was given half the time. 

Supporters of Real Madrid grow restless with the tedium of longevity, preferring a culture of one-upmanship and immediacy to dignified means and notional growth. Clarence Seedorf was allowed to leave Real Madrid at 24 years of age, still with 14 years of glittering professional football before him. 

Angel di Maria was sold after helping the club capture its Holy Grail, la decima. Arjen Robeen and Wesley Sneijder were both forced out of the club and cited a lack of respect as the reasons they hold a grudge against their former employers. Sneijder would go on to capture an unprecentended treble with Inter Milan while Robben completed this rare feat with Bayern Munich. 

Treated to the likes of the Brazilian Ronaldo, Zinedine Zidane, David Beckham and Roberto Carlos, fans are notorious for growing restless with servants of the club who they deem as no longer being the cream of the crop.  

Ike Casillas appeared 510 times for Real Madrid. He won five La Liga titles, two Copa del Rey titles and three Champions League winner’s medals. He was forced out of the club at only 34 years of age. Xavi claimed that Real Madrid were ungrateful of Casillas’ service to the club, a claim which many professionals supported. 

Gonzalo Higuain was unable to gain the favor of Madrid supporters after seven illustrious seasons in Madrid. He scored 121 goals in 264 games but was never able to fully gain the trust and support of those around him.  His 0.45 goals per game at the club is better than four-time England Player of the Year and five-time Premier League champion Wayne Rooney’s average, which stands at 0.44 per game.

In the north-east of England, Newcastle United supporters find themselves staring relegation in the face following their calamitous 3-1 defeat to fellow relegation contenders Bournemouth. During the 1997/98 season, those same supporters were at one point celebrating a 3-2 victory over Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League.

Embroiled by mismanagement, unreal expectations and underperforming millionaires, their struggles have led many neutrals to declare relegation as the best medicine for the club. Real Madrid’s footballing clout will ostensibly never see them relegated from La Liga, but is their supporter's hysterical, disjoined view of reality any less grounds for claiming it’d be an equally beneficial remedy?    

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