MLS Clubs

All Hail Henry Kessler, Our New Shithousing King

While the USMNT is dealing with the travails of Concacaf World Cup qualifying, MLS play continues on, because international breaks are for the weak, or something. But MLS is still seeing its share of Concacafy nonsense, if this Henry Kessler time wasting is anything to go by. 

Romeo Beckham Signs Contract With His Daddy’s Sister Club

I can’t imagine the pressure of being the son of two world-famous celebrities. No matter what Romeo Beckham does with his life, it will be nearly impossible to live up to his dad, legendary footballer David Beckham, or his mother, famed Spice Girl/fashion icon Victoria Beckham. You gotta give Romeo credit for trying to follow in his father’s footsteps, even if he’s getting a bit of help from dear old dad in the process.

USMNT Phenoms Ricardo Pepi, Jesús Ferreira Fire Dallas To 5-3 Win In Texas Derby

FC Dallas scored three goals in a four-minute first-half span, got braces from Jesús Ferreira and Ricardo Pepi and held on for 5-3 win over host Austin FC on Sunday in the most recent rendition of the Texas Derby.

FC Dallas (6-9-7, 25 points) emphatically snapped a three-match winless streak, dating back to a 2-0 home victory against Austin FC on Aug. 7. Austin (5-12-4, 19 points) has lost four of its past five matches and fell to FC Dallas for the second time in the month of August. The expansion team has just 20 goals this season in its 21 matches, the least in the league.

Brian Rodríguez’s Insane Solo Goal Highlights Thrilling El Tráfico That Ends 3-3

Rivalry games are key to the popularity of Major League Soccer, and Saturday's "El Tráfico" between the LA Galaxy and host Los Angeles FC didn't disappoint in the slightest.

The two Southern California sides played an up-and-down, high-scoring match that ended in a 3-3 draw at Banc of California Stadium.

Brian Rodríguez scored two goals for LAFC (6-9-6, 24 points) and newcomer Dejan Joveljić scored twice for the Galaxy (11-8-3, 36 points) in just his fourth game with the club.

From Campos To Rimando, Who Are The Best Short Goalkeepers Of All Time?

They say size doesn't matter, but with the modern men's goalkeeping landscape populated by giants like Manuel Neuer (6-4), Gianluigi Donnarumma (6-5) and Thibaut Courtois (6-7), 6-2 is almost considered the minimum height for a professional goalkeeper in the modern age.

A few players, like Yann Sommer (6-0) and Jordan Pickford (6-1) buck this trend, but it is increasingly rare to see a men's keeper under 6-0, much less one who is 5-8 or 5-9. 

Why USMNT Fans Are So Excited About Ricardo Pepi Picking U.S. Over Mexico

When Gregg Berhalter announced his 26-man roster for the upcoming 2022 World Cup qualifiers in September, there were a lot of people wondering where strikers like Matthew Hoppe and Daryl Dike were. A few were also wondering: Who is Ricardo Pepi, the teenager who was one of three strikers chosen to the squad. 

The MLS Skills Challenge Was Enjoyable, But It Failed To Showcase One Position: Goalkeepers

An unapologetically American league, MLS has always set out to be different from European soccer competitions, and the All-Star Weekend Skills Challenge is no different.

Including such events as the most powerful shot, soccer tennis and an Olympico corner kick challenge, the skills challenge was played from 1998 until 2001 and provided a unique flavor to what can often be a dull All-Star Game.

The competition took a hiatus for nearly two decades before returning in 2019 with noticeably tamer events and even less focus on one position group in particular: goalkeepers.

The Story Behind The Worst (Best?) Photo In MLS History

Brek Shea shirtless, jeans barely hanging on to the footballer’s chiseled abs. A model in lingerie, eyes glassy like she just ate too much Thanksgiving dinner. And a baby donkey, half-asleep and half-aware of the brunette stroking its neck. 

It is, perhaps, the greatest photo in MLS history. I’ll also accept worst photo of all time.

Brek Shea Donkey

The above photo conjures so many questions.

Finally, An MFing MLS All-Star Game Worth Watching

For anyone who’s been paying attention, the MLS All-Stars vs. European club format of the last decade has grown depressingly stale. It was kinda cool for a while but reached a nadir with a sad loss to Atlético Madrid in 2019. This year, MLS finally switched to a format people actually care at least a little about, and it was fun to enjoy the MLS All-Star Game once again.

Los 5 Grandes Momentos Del Desafío De Habilidades Entre La Liga MX Y La MLS

En medio de las actividades relacionadas con el Juego de Estrellas, la Liga MX y la MLS se enfrentaron en el tradicional desafío de habilidades. El triunfo quedó en manos de la Liga MX, no solo en lo técnico, sino que también a la hora de dar espectáculo.

De hecho, los jugadores de la Liga MX fueron protagonistas de la mayoría de los momentos más comentados de la jornada, los cuales compilamos aquí:

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