Fails

I love everything about this video, from the "running" around the ball to the Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks run-up to the swing-and-a-miss at the end.

Please watch this video and love it as much as I do.

Watch this video of a very guilty dog and meet me on the other side.

This dog is going to be the next manager of Crystal Palace. Book that sh*t. Just imagine the press conferences:

The FA, in its infinite wisdom, has decided there needs to be more girls playing the beautiful game in England. This in and of itself is a reasonable thing to want. Gender equality is good and the FA should want that. 

What is not reasonable or good is the document they made full of suggestions on how to get more females playing soccer.

Specifically, these suggestions were clearly not written by women, or girls, or anyone who has ever met a woman or girl.

When Jack Skellington grew tired of organizing Halloween Town’s Halloween celebration in Disney’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, the ghost skeleton proceeded to plot and scheme over how he could take charge of Christmas as well. Unable to understand the spirit of the holiday and personally impulsive to a fault, Jack almost ruined Christmas for everyone.

It was only two weeks ago when we were treated to one of the most astounding open goal misses in the history of football over in Serbia. The gift of giving to helpless defenses seems to be in the air this holiday season as a Greek fourth division match has offered up its own tragic epic. 

When I was a young lad my youth soccer team had a throw-in routine that we labelled “Pikachu”, much to the embarrassment of our coach. The player taking the throw-in would gleefully scream out the play over and over, and we’d get giddy as all hell at the opportunity to execute. Standing in a well-organized line four or five deep, the players towards the front would peel off laterally while the player at the very back of the queue would steam forward to collect the throw-in. 

The Montreal Impact changed from their normal home venue, the Saputo Stadium, to the Olympic Stadium for their 2016 MLS Cup Eastern Conference Final, and it looked like a stroke of genius. Instead of playing in front of 20,801 supporters, the Impact raised the attendance for Tuesday night’s first-leg match to over 61,000.

Unfortunately, the Olympic Stadium’s grounds crew wasn’t on the same page. 

We’ve seen players miss open goals before. Hell, even some of the finest strikers on the planet manage to put shots wide with the goal at their mercy. But this miss in a Serbian lower league match has no equal.