Central & South America

(clears throat)

Webster's Dictionary defines "incompetence" as . . . 

It doesn't really matter what Webster's Dictionary defines incompetence as, because I know it when I see it, and this is it. First, Belgrano de Cordoba's defense took a nap when they should have been paying attention to what River Plate's attackers were doing. One defender was paying attention, but he played the situation badly and took himself out of the action right at the start.

Paulinho. Really. I am not making this up.

The Guangzhou Evergrande man scored three times to see Brazil over Uruguay, 4-1.

Try as Chile and his teammates might, Lionel Messi remained on course to qualify for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. When they get there, Messi’s teammates and the opposition might get the better of him, but tonight was not their night. Messi converted a penalty after a soft call in the box and Argentina hung on for a 1-0 victory in Buenos Aires.

Colombia almost offered Argentina a massive lifeline before they’d even taken the field by leaving it until the 83rd-minute to take the lead against lowly Bolivia in Barranquilla. However, James Rodriguez converted the follow-up after his initial penalty was saved, and Colombia secured a vital three points.

James remains very much on the periphery at Real Madrid, scoring only two goals in La Liga this season, but he’s a faultless captain when it comes to leading Colombia.

Police in Peru seized a shipment of 1,417 kilos of cocaine, worth millions of dollars, branded with Lionel Messi's logo.

The story of Brazilian goalkeeper Bruno and his sentencing to 22 years in prison is one that makes the stomach turn. Back in 2010, Bruno was playing for Flamengo in the Brazilian Serie A and reportedly on the verge of joining AC Milan. 

Involved in a dispute with former model Eliza Samudio over child support payments, Bruno had his friends kidnap her, torture her, murder her and fed to Rottweilers. A month after Samudio's disappearance, a judge ordered Bruno's arrest.

With only six matches remaining in South American World Cup qualifying, Argentina face the very real possibility of having their dreams dashed by Chile for the third time in three years. When Chile and Argentina take the field Thursday night in Buenos Aires, it will almost certainly be with both sides out of the automatic qualifying places.

If Colombia defeat Bolivia in Barranquilla, they’ll leapfrog both Argentina and Chile in the table, sending Chile to fifth and Argentina to the disastrous standing of sixth — out of the World Cup.

This brawl has everything: riot police, tear gas, fans playing tug-of-war over a banner, everything.

Last week, during a Copa Libertadores match between Zamora (Venezuela) and Gremio (Brazil), a good dog just couldn't contain itself and ran on the field.