Manchester United's 1-1 draw with Everton Sunday was noteworthy for two things Zlatan Ibrahimovic did.
The one that everyone is focusing on: his kicking Seamus Coleman in the head early in the second half.
Zlatan wasn't punished on the field for the incident, but his comments after the game could cause the FA to take a closer look.
The clash between Manchester United and Everton played out much like a GEICO commercial this Saturday at Goodison Park.
The script goes something like this:
"If you're Zlatan, you score ridiculous goals and get away with almost anything, including stomping on Séamus Coleman's head. It's what you do."
"If you're Marouane Fellaini, you come off the bench at 85' and get called for a stupid penalty at the 87'. It's what you do."
It’s the EFL Cup so everything must be taken with a grain of salt, but Manchester United’s dominate victory over West Ham in the quarterfinals saw United resemble a waking giant. It must also be said that West Ham’s performance was totally in line with their 2016-17 season so far — disastrous.
With only two minutes gone, the Red Devils opened the scoring after a brilliant exchange between Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. With both Paul Pogba and Marouane Fellaini suspended for the match, Mkhitaryan was handed a rare start and setup Ibrahimovic with a slick back heel.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic frequently plays at being a conquerer, emperor and god while discussing his career. He’s discussed how his favorite movie is Gladiator, because he feels that, like Maximus Decimus Meridius, he will have his vengeance, in this life or the next.
“That’s how I felt, or wanted to feel,” said Ibrahimovic in his book, I Am Zlatan. “I wanted to stand up to the whole world and show everybody who’d doubted me who I really was, and I couldn’t imagine anyone who’d be able to stop me.”
Zlatan hasn't scored many goals lately, but the ones he has scored have been special. The Manchester United striker scored the 25,000th goal in Premier League history in a 3-1 win against Swansea Sunday.
Here's Premier League goal number 25,000:
In a news conference following Monday’s tie with Liverpool, in preparation for their thursday night Europa League match, Mourinho made it clear to reporters that Manchester United have no “untouchables”. He contrasted it to his time at Chelsea, where in 2006 Moutinho described his squad as having nine players that would not be dropped.
It hasn’t been the dream beginning that many anticipated following three straight victories to open their 2016-17 Premier League campaign, and many within the Manchester United camp are already beginning to feel the heat.
Wayne Rooney has been in dire form, and his inclusion in the starting XI has been relentlessly questioned. Zlatan Ibrahimovic hasn’t scored a Premier League goal since September 10th. Paul Pogba has hardly justified his gargantuan transfer fee, and Jose Mourinho’s personnel choices, including the ostracizing of Bastian Schweinsteiger, have been criticized.
We're going to be honest, we think this might be fake. It just seems staged to us. Just a feeling we have.
It's still pretty funny though, so whatever. Someone get this man some sperm.
Serious question: how will he know he's actually getting the sperm of a superstar footballer? What if he's just getting sperm from some random dude?
I suppose that's not his greatest worry right now, but it's something to think about.