Spain

Warning: please do not continue reading this article or scroll down if you do not want to see a gross soccer fan butt. Thank you.

Cristiano Ronaldo continued his run of good form Saturday against Alaves, scoring three goals in a 4-1 victory.

One Alaves fan wasn't impressed, or maybe was really super impressed, or not impressed at all with his side's defending, or just really hot, or hot for Cristiano Ronaldo, or really confused and didn't know what else to do.

Cristiano Ronaldo would like very much for you to look at him, please. Right now, if possible.

Here he is, or at least here his upper half is:

In a recent interview with Coachmag.co.uk, Cristiano Ronaldo spoke at length about his inspirations, his toughest opponent and the opposing player he most admires. The biggest surprise came when asked about the opponent he most admired, as Ronaldo bucked the peddled notion of a rivalry steeped in hatred and answered:

In order to talk smack, don’t you have to back it up? Goalkeeper Diego Alves failed to do so on Saturday in Valencia’s last-second loss to Barcelona:

When it comes to penalties, Diego Lopez is one of the best. Of the last 35 penalties he's faced, Alves has saved a staggering 17 of them; so he has good reason to be a little cocky. Two years ago, he even smack talked Cristiano Ronaldo before saving his penalty to end their title run.

France Football announced the 30 finalists for the 2016 Ballon d’Or award with Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi the favorites to take home the award they’ve entirely dominated since Kaka won in 2007. Real Madrid have six nominees on the list, Barcelona have four and Leicester City’s dream season has resulted in nominations for Riyad Mahrez and Jamie Vardy.

Lionel Messi helped Barcelona defeat Valencia at La Mestalla on Saturday, as he cooly converted a 94th minute penalty to give Barca the 3-2 win. He also happened to lose his damn mind after Valencia fans struck Neymar with a bottle.

The match was tied at 2-2 as the minutes bled away, and it seemed destined to end as a draw. Thankfully for Barcelona, Valencia defender Aymen Abdennour was in a charitable sort of mood as he hacked down Luis Suarez in the 92nd minute to concede a penalty.

Barcelona fans, it's going to be OK. Neymar signed a new contract, keeping him (theoretically) in blue and red at least until 2021, or until Manchester United prepare that mega-bid we;ve all been hearing so much about.

Lionel Messi and his Barcelona teammates, including Gerard Pique and Ivan Rakitic, took a moment to read tweets about themselves in an ad campaign for the new 2017 Audi Q2. Fortunately for the Barca players, this was nothing like Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” segment.

The players read tweets containing strange tags that ultimately praised them as footballers and individuals. The highlight of the two-minute video is watching Messi awkwardly praise himself.

It's clear to anyone watching that while still very good, Cristiano Ronaldo is on the physical decline. Questions have arisen surrounding his ability to remain effective while not being the team’s centerpiece. He is still clearly very capable, but his ineffeciency is indicative of a man not quite ready to accept his new role.