Records

Crystal Dunn, Tobin Heath, Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan, and Becky Sauerbrunn were all nominees for 2016 Female Player of the Year. Tobin Heath beat out all of her USWNT teammates and took home the title.

MLS is perpetually trying to prove itself by signing star players, battling other American sports for media coverage and comparing itself against leagues around the world that've been around since the turn of the 20th century. This year’s MLS Cup brought together a near perfect matchup on paper, and the television numbers responded accordingly. 

The school of Barcelona detests the characterization of tiki-taka when discussing their style of play, so let’s just say that Barca passed the s*** out of Gladbach when the two teams met on Tuesday in the Champions League.

One of the reasons that this conception of zonal play is met with such derision from the likes of Pep Guardiola and Luis Enrique is the fact that it denotes an attack devoid of entertainment and sterile in the extreme.

Goalkeepers are odd. Anyone who’s ever been forced into the position by a lack of numbers can attest that it is a lonely, nerve-racking experience back there, but that’s the life they chose. 

Individual awards have an extreme preference for goal scorers, and a goalkeeper has only ever been awarded the Ballon d’Or on a single occasion — that being Lev Yashin in 1963. 

However, these goalkeeping records show the remarkable achievements that the position has contributed to the game.

You might be angry with the headline, but it’s the truth. It’s not click bait, a click bait article, by definition, doesn’t give you the information promised in the headline. Theo Walcott, as now certified by the Guinness Book of Records, has better control than Lionel Messi. It's the truth, I mean, if you can’t trust the Guinness Book of Records, who can you trust?  

So it’s a subjective form of control, and by subjective I mean it’s based off of who can control a ball dropped from a ridiculous altitude, but it’s a form of control no less.

World Soccer magazine, established in 1960, has been handing out their Player of the Year award since 1982, establishing itself as one of the most well-respected accolades in the game. Since 2005, the winner of the World Soccer Player of the Year has subsequently been named the Ballon d’Or recipient. 

The record for the fastest red card ever in soccer is somewhat dubious: is it limited to professionals? What about amateur leagues? Does the player actually have to play a second before being sent off? These are the kinds of ridiculous variables you must factor into determining the fastest red card ever in soccer.

According to the Guardian, there have been a number of instances when substitutes have been sent off without having ever played a second in the match.

Borussia Dortmund beat Legia Warsaw 8-4. They combined for 12 goals, more than the number of players each team is allowed to have on the field and the same number as the number of months in a year.

In the Champions League.

It’s been more than two calendar years since the Chicago Fire last won an MLS road match. That’s 36 futile attempts at claiming three points dating back to their 1-0 victory over the New England Revolution on July 12th, 2014.

For a bit of perspective, Chivas USA (the defunct MLS club which folded after the 2014 season) experienced their last road win on that same date. It’s a staggering statistic that’s unbelievably damning for the club that’s won an MLS Cup (1998), MLS Supporters’ Shield (2003) and has won the US Open Cup four times — more than any other MLS club.