Goals

Luis Suarez's Volley Against Sporting Gijon Was Like This Truck Hitting Spike Strips At 115 Miles Per Hour

I want to talk about trucks for a second. Not just any trucks, mind you, but trucks being driven 115 miles per hour by escaped convicts that hit spike strips and fly through the air and land on Toyota Corollas.

This is what I want to talk about:

Watch The Greatest Goals From The Greatest Attacking Side Ever Assembled

For those with a preference for attacking football, there was no greater side than the one Brazil assembled for the 1982 FIFA World Cup in Spain. The fascinating talents of Zico, Socrates, Eder, Serginho, Falcao and even defender Junior combined to score a staggering 15 goals in five matches.

Watch Olivier Giroud’s Scorpion Goal The Way God Intended: In Lego Form

Thanks to animator Weevil888, we get to relive Olivier Giroud’s fantastic scorpion kick goal against Crystal Palace in quality that makes Planet Earth II’s Ultra-high-definition look like garbage. Because now, for the first time ever, it’s been recreated in glorious Lego form. 

Olivier Giroud is as dashing a Lego person as you’ll ever see, Alexis Sanchez has got his blue gloves on and some Gunners supporters want “Wenger In” and some want “Wenger Out”. 

Mohamed Diame Scores One Of The Flukiest, Trashiest Goals You’ll Ever See For Newcastle United

Newcastle United travelled to Brighton & Hove Albion’s Amex Stadium for a match between first and second in the English Championship. With the top two sides in the division earning automatic promotion to the Premier League, matches really don’t get any bigger than this.

Albion took the lead through Glenn Murray after Murray, Newcastle’s Ciaran Clark and goalkeeper Karl Darlow all clashed together in a clusterf**k of cliche Championship football, the referee pointing to spot.

U.S. U-20s Defeat Mexico In Pivotal Match For The 2017 FIFA U-20 World Cup

The United States U-20 team defeated a Mexican U-20 side that hadn’t lost a match since 2009 on Monday in the classification stage of the 2017 CONCACAF U-20 Championship. 

The loss for Mexico means that they’ll need a result against El Salvador on March 1 to qualify for the 2017 FIFA U-20 World Cup in South Korea. If Mexico were to lose or draw that match, the US would clinch their spot before even playing their final classification match against El Salvador on March 3.

It’s Clear Who Juventus Need To Buy To Clinch Next Year’s Serie A Title In The Summer

The offseason purchases of Mirlalem Pjanic from Roma (€32 million) and Gonzalo Higuain from Napoli (€75.3 million) haven’t debilitated the selling clubs, but they have had the desired effect for Juventus. Higuain has scored 19 goals, tied with Edin Dzeko for the most in the league, and no Juventus player has more assists than Pjanic.

Even more importantly, Napoli, the team that ran them closest last season, will come short of last season’s total of 82 points while Juventus look poised to surpass their own total of 91. There’s no surer gauge of the impact of that transfer.

Panama Defeats Mexico In Beach Soccer Championship With Array Of Absurd Goals

Panama were the surprise winners of the 2017 CONCACAF Beach Soccer Championship after defeating three-time champions Mexico 4-2 in the final. With the scores level at 2-2, Panama proceeded to score two unanswered goals to secure their first ever championship.

Mexico scored the first, but Panama responded with their goalkeeper hurling one down the beach for an attacker to side volley home.

This Goal In The Nigerian Premier League Will Melt Your Face Off

Welcome to the Nigerian Premier League. This is Sikiru Olatunbosun, and he's just submitted his application for the Puskas Award. We think he's got a good shot.

This is a very good team goal. It is also a very good individual goal. It is just a very good goal and now if you'll excuse us we'll be over here watching it over and over and over again.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Conquers Wembley To Gift Manchester United The EFL Cup

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s quest to win trophies for Manchester United is being realized with stunning proficiency. After scoring late for Man United in their FA Community Shield victory over Leicester City to mark his Red Devil Wembley debut, Zlatan has continued his act by scoring twice, including an 87th minute winner, to lift United over Southampton in the EFL Cup final, 3-2.

Lionel Messi Scores A Late Winner To Lift Barcelona Over Atletico Madrid

Barcelona climbed to the top of the La Liga table (at least until Real Madrid play Villarreal later today) after defeating fierce rivals Atletico Madrid at the Vicente Calderon, 2-1.

Rafinha opened the scoring for Barca in the 64th minute with a goal that probably took a couple of years off Diego Simeone’s life.

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