Germany

Arjen Robben Is Full Of Crap

Bayern Munich winger Arjen Robben is known for one thing: cutting inside from the right wing and shooting with his left foot. That is his only move. He does not need any other moves because the one move he does have is wildly effective. However, Robben seems to think he does other things besides cut inside from the right and shoot with his left. He is wrong.

World Cup Hero Mario Gotze Sidelined Indefinitely With Metabolism Problem

Mario Gotze, the 24-year-old Borussia Dortmund attacker who is best known for scoring the winning goal in the 2014 World Cup final, has been sidelined “for the time being” with “metabolic disturbances” according to a statement from his club.

Bayern Munich Signs Young Phenom Ryan Johansson

Bayern Munich announced the signing of 16-year-old Luxembourd youth midfielder Ryan Johansson to a long-term contract that is set to begin this upcoming summer.

Before his signing with Bayern Munich, Johansson was playing in France, representing the FC Metz U-17 squad.

RB Leipzig Are Hated In Germany But Will Soon Dominate The Bundesliga

You'd have to go back to 2008-09 to find the last Bundesliga title that wasn't won by either Bayern Munich or Borussia Dortmund. However, there is one that is lurking, currently in second place in their debut Bundesliga season, waiting for the spotlight.

The team is the most despised in German football — RB Leipzig, a side that has literally come out of nowhere in seven years and is now challenging the traditional might of the Bundesliga.

Bayern Munich Find A Late Equalizer Beyond Stoppage Time

Following Bayern Munich's dominating victory over Arsenal, the German club came out flat and ultimately battled to a draw against Hertha Berlin in the Bundesliga. Vedad Ibisevic opened the scoring for Hertha with a diving header, sneaking it past Manuel Neuer in the 21st minute.

It appeared that the lone goal from Ibisevic would give Hertha three points and their first victory over the Bavarians since 2009.

Chicharito Makes It Five Goals In Three Matches With Brace vs. Augsburg

This is the last thing Atletico Madrid wanted to see ahead of Tuesday’s Champions League first leg: Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez has hit top form again. With a brace against Augsburg on Friday, Chicharito made it five goals in three matches for Leverkusen.

After going through the longest goal drought of his career, Chicharito has been back with a vengeance throughout January and February. He put Leverkusen up 2-0 in the 40th minute with a left-footed shot.

What's Wrong With Thomas Muller This Season?

For the first time in his career, it appears Thomas Muller is off of his game. The Bayern attacker has only been able to contribute one goal in 16 Bundesliga appearances for the team. Muller has contributed at least 13 goals in each of his past four Bundesliga seasons (with 20 last year), and has been praised as an vital piece for Bayern.

The only time Müller found the back of the net this season was against Wolfsburg on December 10. He also got an assist in that game.

Kevin Mohwald Misses The Easiest Shot Ever. But It Becomes A Pirlo-esque Assist.

Kevin Mohwald came as close as he’ll ever be to Andrea Pirlo with this assist for Nurnberg in the German second division. With space and time from eight yards out, Mohwald hits what might’ve been the miss of the season in Germany. Why he’s contorting his body like that and using his foot like a sand wedge we’ll never know, but the effect sends the ball pathetically fluttering sideways. 

Luckily for him, his teammate Abdelhamid Sabiri is there to head it in, and Mohwald doesn’t need to see the club doctor and get evaluated for what the science community refers to as dumb legs.  

What Is Going On With Borussia Dortmund?

Borussia Dortmund sit a disappointing fourth in the Bundesliga with an overall record of nine wins, seven draws and three losses. When it comes to the Bundesliga, there’s almost no standing up to 26-time champions Bayern Munich. However, since 2010, Dortmund have been able to win the title twice and finish runners-up on three occasions. But this season, they already trail Bayern by 12 points. What could explain this disappointing start? 

Inconsistency

Philipp Lahm Has Announced He's Retiring At The End Of The Season

Philipp Lahm is retiring. That is a sad thing.

Throughout his career, Lahm has been two things: a winner, and criminally underrated. He captained Germany during their 2014 World Cup win and captained Bayern Munich to numerous Bundesliga titles, Champions League titles and domestic cup titles.

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