100. That is how many goals in European competition Cristiano Ronaldo has scored and number 100 was a vital one. Manuel Neuer was making save after save for 10-man Bayern Munich, but the German wall could not deny Cristiano a crucial second away goal for Real Madrid. Bayern substitute Juan Bernat somehow let Cristiano Ronaldo drift and Real Madrid substitute Marco Asensio made him pay for it.
Cristiano Ronaldo has broken reality. Frankly we're surprised it took him this long. He has a history of sending out tweets of himself brooding in various odd places/positions while showing his muscles, but the man has outdone himself.
The bust of Cristiano Ronaldo at the Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport in Madeira has miraculously gained consciousness, it’s first words being “I think you all should know that I’m feeling very depressed.”
“Do I have a mark on my face?” he then asked. “It really hurts. I can’t feel my body, so that doesn’t hurt very much, but my face does. Right here,” he said while scrunching the left side of his face. “Not here or here so much. Right here.”
Emanuel Santos, the man who made the ugly Cristiano Ronaldo bust currently on display at the Madeira airport, has responded to criticism of his ugly sculpture the same way you or I would, by comparing himself to Jesus.
Cristiano Ronaldo looks like he was forged out of steel, but when you try to use actual steel (or similar metal) to forge something that is supposed to look like Cristano Ronaldo, you end up with something that does not look like Cristiano Ronaldo at all.
You end up with this:
It’s been said that hands and the likeliness of an infant are two of the most difficult undertakings in the artistic world. For hands, it is a question of naturalness — even in reality, especially during photographs, we struggle to know what to do with our cursed hands. For the infant, it is the difficulty in portraying youthful exuberance. Wander through an art gallery and you’ll find many children whose faces look no different from their elders, it is only their size that differentiates them.
Let me guess, you’ve dated a variety of different guys but nothing has ever worked out. He was either too quiet, too mean or went MIA. Now you're sick and tired of dating but you don’t want to face this world alone. Don’t stress out, I’m here to open your eyes and point you in the right direction.