Confirmed Transfers

Zlatan Was Willing To Do Whatever It Took To Get Paul Pogba To Manchester United

We know Zlatan likes having good teammates, that's what happens when you win the league pretty much every year of your career.

We did not know how much until we saw the first sentence of this ESPN article:

Mino Raiola has revealed that Zlatan Ibrahimovic jokingly threatened to "break his legs" if he had allowed Paul Pogba to join any other club besides Manchester United.

Real Madrid's Transfer Ban Has Been Upheld By FIFA

Real Madrid and Atletico madrid were handed transfer bans (for the next two windows) related to the signing of youth players from foreign countries, and now FIFA has upheld those bans. Real and Atletico wil not be able to register new players until the January 2018 transfer window.

From a FIFA statement on the appeal rejection:

Nicklas Bendtner And His Pants Are Headed To Nottingham Forest

Nicklas Bendtner would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

Bendtner and his pants are always getting into shenanigans, and now he and his pants are headed to Nottingham Forest, which should be fun.

Cubo Torres Is Going On Loan To Cruz Azul

Mexico international striker Erick "Cubo" Torres has been loaned from the Houston Dynamo to Cruz Azul, the Dynamo announced Saturday. The 23-year-old will play with the Mexico City-based club for the rest of their season.

Three Deadline Deals That Surprised Us All

Transfer deadline day has come and gone and Premier League clubs (even Arsenal!) were not afraid to splash some cash. 

We all remember the long, drawn out, inevitable transfers such as Paul Pogba to Manchester United. But here are three last-minute deadline day deals that caught us all by surprise. 

1. Jack Wilshere (Arsenal to Bournemouth)

Mario Balotelli's Transfer To Nice Is Good For Everybody

Mario Balotelli's move from Liverpool to Nice has been finalized, which has unleashed a takepocalypse among soccer writers jockying to say the most outlandish things in the world about the 26-year-old Italian like they think whoever comes up with the hottest Balotelli take gets to be king of the press box.

So here's one more, f*** it.

Take: this move is good for all parties.

BOOM.

This move is good for Liverpool because they got an expensive player who wasn't ever going to play off the books.

The MLS Released A Weird Video About Nigel De Jong Then Immediately Took It Down

The LA Galaxy have mercifully gotten rid of Nigel de Jong, shipping the Dutch midfielder to Turkish club Galatasaray at the transfer deadline.

10 Summer Transfers That Are Destined To Fail

The 2016 summer transfer window is officially closed. There have been many exciting transfers as well as some truly terrible, overpriced ones. We're only a few weeks into the new season so we don’t know for sure how these transfers are going to work out, but we've come up with a list of 10 transfers which we anticipate will prove worthless.

10 Summer Transfers That Are Destined To Fail

#10: Maarten Stekelenburg | Fulham to Everton

The Quintessential Offensive Center Back Has Returned To Chelsea

David Luiz, the foremost offensive center back in the world, is returning from whence he came. Luiz is reported moving back to Chelsea from PSG, reversing the move he made in 2014.

We could not be happier about this, as Luiz is one of the most entertaining players in the game. His unique skill set (for a center back) guarantees you one thing: there will be goals.

A Fatal Reluctance To Play Football Abroad Continues To Kill England

Having fallen down the midfield pecking order at Arsenal, Jack Wilshere reportedly demanded a loan move during crisis talks with manager Arsene Wenger. Dropped from the England squad for their upcoming World Cup qualifiers by recently appointed manager Sam Allardyce, Wilshere rightly realized that he needed more minutes to win back his international place.

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