Asia

Oman and Bhutan played an Asian Cup qualifier Tuesday, with Oman winning 14-0. This is about as bad a beatdown as you can get in soccer, and we spent some time thinking about what went through the minds of the losing team.

The 14 Stages Of Losing 14-0

1. Oh no! The other team has scored! We must try to score also and tie the game!

2. Ah well, 2-0 is the most dangerous lead in soccer. We can do this boys!

3. We can still come back. Stranger things have happened.

Matchday seven has passed in Asian 2018 FIFA World Cup qualification, and the usual suspects have emerged as favorites to gain passage to Russia. Iran and South Korea control their own destinies in securing Group A’s automatic qualification spots, while Japan, Saudi Arabia and Australia are vying for the top two positions in Group B.

The only real surprise is Uzbekistan’s standing of third in Group A, meaning that a country that’s never been to a World Cup before is on course for the playoff against Group B’s third place side.

Every now and then, with pretty routine frequency, we come across the latest exploits of Brazilian striker Hulk in Asia. Whether they’re in the Chinese Super League or the Asian Champions League, they’re always unreal goals, and I’m beginning to doubt their authenticity. 

A little over a week ago, we checked in on Kazuyoshi “King Kazu” Mirua, who’d just broken Sir Stanley Matthews’ record as the oldest professional footballer at 50 years and seven days. While, since that day, he’s not only gone on to further that mark, but he’s also broken another of the legendary Englishman’s records by becoming the oldest recognized goalscorer in professional football history.

Kazu Miura has broken Sir Stanley Matthews’ record as the oldest professional footballer of all time* after playing 54 minutes in Yokohama FC’s 1-1 draw with V-Varen Nagasaki in the Japanese J2 League. The record now stands at 50 years and seven days with Miura, and, since he signed a one-year contract extension before the season, he’ll continue to build on that mark for some time to come.

In Iran, women are banned from attending soccer games in a co-ed setting. Even though the sport is popular across both sexes and there is no official ban on women going to sporting events, soccer stadiums are a male-only affair. Women are regularly denied access at the door, making it impossible for them to attend any sporting event. 

Iran argues that the ban against women in the same sporting stadiums as men is necessary because it protects them from fighting and rude language that might spread within the stands.

Mark Clattenburg, England's most famous referee, is leaving England to become the head of refereeing for the Saudi Arabian FA, where he will replace his countryman Howard Webb.

Clattenburg will be remembered for being a pretty good referee, England's go-to man for big matches and also UEFA's go-to man, possibly because no English teams seem to play in big European matches anymore (ha ha! I jest). Mostly, though, Clattenburg will be remembered for doing a weird tongue thing while an Atletico Madrid player was writhing on the ground in the 2016 Champions League final.

The 2017 W-League Grand Final took place Sunday afternoon with history on the line. Melbourne City were looking to become the league’s first ever repeat champions. Meanwhile, Perth Glory were seeking their first title after coming close in 2014. 

Having the higher playoff seed, Perth hosted the match at the nib Stadium in front of a crowd of 4,591. The attendance broke a W-League record which had stood since the league debuted in 2008-09. Outside of Australia, the match was streamed live in the United States on ESPN3.