The Merseyside derby was today. It had everything you'd expect from such an occasion: tackles, fouls, more fouls, lots of fouls, all the fouls, every foul, grabbing, holding, kicking, Ross Barkley doing something extremely stupid, Jordan Henderson stomping around with his chest puffed like a guy who's had a few too many and thinks everyone is looking at his girlfriend, more fouls and exactly one goal.
But what a goal.
Not "what a goal", like, "wow what an incredible goal", more like "what? a goal!" It was the perfect goal for its time and place, Sadio Mane out-hustling three Everton players to a rebound off a Daniel Sturridge trickler that only got that far because Joel Robles, in for the dead-legged Maarten Stekelenburg, was out of position.
In other words it was a garbage can, which is fine because this game, as with most Monday Night Football contests, was a garbage can. The telling stat: EIGHT minutes of extra time. It was such a bad game they couldn't even end it within a reasonable timeframe. The reward for sticking around after 90 minutes (we would not begrudge anyone who turned it off): a goal. A Christmas miracle.