Congratulations to all the winners.
Winner:
Travis Yoesting: Your Relationship Explained By Soccer GIFs
Finalists:
Connor Fleming: What Does A Soccer Captain Do?
Sam Klomhaus: Luis Suarez Should Quit Soccer And Fulfill His Destiny As The Third Property Brother
Jurgen Klopp: that interview after the Merseyside Derby when he looked directly into the camera
Miguel Herrera just for being himself
Paul Pogba's barber
Winner:
Connor Fleming: Here Comes A Monkey With The Match Ball
Finalists:
Sam Klomhaus: Look Out, Here Comes A Bear With The Match Ball
Travis Yoesting: Cristiano Ronaldo Plays With Little Balls In Front Of A Baby
Everyone who makes those "Welcome to X club" YouTube videos before the player has even signed
All the news organizations that breathlessly report who has liked what on Instagram
All the news organizations that report what kind of car Raheem Sterling is driving like it has anything to do with anything
Winner:
Sam Klomhaus: I Saw A Plane. It Probably Has Virgil van Dijk On It
Finalists:
Liverpool fans in general: plane watch
Liverpool fans in general: van watch
Travis Yoesting: 'Players To Be Named Later' Upstage Incredible NWSL Draft
Connor Fleming: Floyd Mayweather Talks Newcastle Takeover And Luring Cristiano Ronaldo To Tyneside
Pep Guardiola: exposing the truth about how bad Joe Hart is
Winner:
Connor Fleming: The One Thing That Separates Argentine Empanadas From Portuguese Ones
Finalists:
Sam Klomhaus: Watch The Terrifying Trailer For Jason Statham's New Movie "The Meg"
Jurgen Klinsmann: explaining that the USA not qualifying for the World Cup
Bruce Arena: explaining that the USA not qualifying for the World Cup wasn't his fault, either
Sunil Gulati: explaining that the USA not qualifying for the World Cup wasn't HIS fault, either
Travis Yoesting: Why Colombia Must Not Be Allowed To Win The World Cup
Winner:
The deformed Cristiano Ronaldo bust
Finalists:
Those hipsters over at the Guardian
This drawing of Messi that I made
The deformed Gareth Bale bust
442oons
Any drawing of the Partick Thistle mascot
Winner:
Mark Hamill tweeting that he "supports Wolves"
Finalists:
Your nephew's blog about his youth team
People in pubs complaining about how little coverage smaller local clubs get
Airplanes not being allowed to fly over Messi's house
Grainy cell phone videos of players going out after matches
The MLS "please like my sport" legions
Winner:
Sam Allardyce and his pint glass full of white wine
Finalists:
People complaining about Juan Carlos Osorio's tactics and ignoring his win-loss record
Iceland
The USA failing to qualify for the World Cup, and the ensuing hunt for a scapegoat
Every crazy story coming out of Russia leading up to the World Cup
Peru suspending its league to better focus on World Cup qualifying (and it worked!)
Winner:
Everyone debating whether Zinedine Zidane is a good manager
Finalists:
People who thought Cristiano Ronaldo was washed up at the beginning of the season
People who thought Real Madrid were going to win La Liga running away before the season started
Real Madrid's Champions League forcefield
Isco
Real Madrid getting wrecked by Spurs during the Champions League group stage just to inject a little suspense into the proceedings
Winner:
Transfer rumors even though a transfer window is like three months away
Finalists:
Eventually, this category will somehow expand to include Netflix
Every player ratings article
Transfer speculation articles on MLSSoccer.com that pretend the writer doesn't work for the league he or she is covering
Articles going on and on about how Manchester City aren't the best team in EPL history, actually
Messi and Ronaldo fans yelling at each other on Twitter
Winner:
Sam Klomhaus for his excellent tweets
James Milner's real Twitter account
Peter Crouch's Twitter account
People making fun of Harry Kane swearing on his daughter's life to steal a goal from a teammate
Bundesliga fans protesting Monday matches by throwing toilet paper on the field
"Your love makes me strong. Your hate makes me unstoppable."
Winner:
Finalists:
The18's Facebook commenters
People who criticized Liverpool's signing of Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
People who thought Manchester City spent too much money on fullbacks
Taylor Twellman: rant following USA World Cup qualification failure
Gianluigi Buffon saying Michael Oliver has a garbage bin for a heart
Winner:
Lionel Messi nutmeg compilations
Finalists:
That ad Zlatan took out in the LA Times
People who thought soccer couldn't make it in the American south
Pivoting to video and then pivoting back away from video
#NoEraPenal
My tweets again
Winner:
Photos of players entering hospitals to complete medicals before transfers
Finalists:
Increasingly over-produced player announcement videos
Regular goal GIFs
Bristol City goal GIFS
Videos of Jogi Loew picking his nose
That picture of people being mean to Dele Alli, you know the one
Winner:
The heat map that looks like a weiner
Finalists:
The photo of Zlatan as an angel arm-wrestling the devil
The photo of Sam Allardyce laughing at Chico Flores
Simon Mignolet practicing bike safety
Winner:
Philippe Coutinho's back injury
Finalists:
Mohamed Salah can't finish
Pep Guardiola's style will never work in England
Ligue 1 in general
Jonathan Gonzalez's promising USMNT career
Every foul on Luis Suarez
Winner:
Every Jose Mourinho press conference
Finalists:
The Coutinho to Barcelona saga
The Alexis Sanchez to Manchester United Saga
The Neymar to PSG saga
The Wenger In-Wenger Out saga
The Thomas Lemar non-saga
Winner:
The Netherlands, United States, Italy and Chile World Cup campaigns (shared)
Finalists:
Neymar's transfer fee
Renato Sanches
Jese
Oscar
Sunderland
Winner:
Stop Talking About How Weird Louis Van Gaal's Face Looks
Finalists:
Jamie Carragher's Voice Doesn't Match His Face
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Is Very Sure Of Himself, An Exhaustively-Researched Book
Who Told Antoine Griezmann He Could Wear His Hair Like That: An Investigation
Jose Mourinho Is Good And All Of You Are Bad, by Duncan Castles
The Life Of George Washington As Told By Soccer GIFs
Winner:
Garbage Bin Heart, by Gianluigi Buffon
Finalists:
The Real World Cup Qualification Is The Friends We Made Along The Way, by Bruce Arena
Zlatan, by Zlatan
Murder, by Antonio Conte
Red Is The Color Of Love And Also Red Cards, by Sergio Ramos
Sitting On A Tractor On A Sunny Day, by Matt Besler
Winner:
West Brom players stealing a taxi to go to McDonald's
Finalists:
Kevin Lasagna
Alberto Moreno has had a good season
Harry Kane touched the ball before it went in the goal
The18 is the premier soccer website for millennials
That Roma comeback tho
Winner:
Finalists:
Jason Derulo's already-annoying World Cup song
The Champions League song's completely real lyrics
Manchester City's title-winning song/chant
Whatever other songs they release for the World Cup
