The Tough Mudder Mud Run is for the hardcore. It’s a 12 mile course designed by the same deviant who created Wario Stadium for Mario Kart 64 (I could be wrong). It’s like Ninja Warrior, but even ninjas steer clear of mud. Mud’ll f*** you up, sully your clothes and make your mother invest in Tide HE Turbo Clean Liquid.
Getting yourself into some mud is like joining the FBI, becoming an undercover agent in a foreign country’s largest crime syndicate and approaching your first high-stakes drug trade before realizing you still don't speak a word of the native language. It’ll drag you out of your comfort zone for sure.
Someone should’ve told the football here all this. You approach mud, you gotta be tough. You gotta be a Tough Mudder.
The way this ball just goes slack and quits right as it’s about to cross the goal line is an embarrassment. It’s about grit, ball, it’s about earning the performance finisher t-shirt. It’s about getting some good pics for your dating app. But you’ve got to cross the finish line.
You’ve got to be graced by grit, ball, or you’ve got to want to EARN it.
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