Zlatan

Manchester United Have Released Zlatan

The good news is this move makes Manchester United once again much easier to hate. That's right, Zlatan is gone, banished from Manchester United after 42 appearances, 28 goals and one horrible knee injury.

Obviously Zlatan is going to come back. He is Zlatan, after all. The question is where, and that is a question for another day. Today, we must wrap our heads around the fact that we actually kind of liked Manchester United for a bit there, when they had Zlatan and Pogba doing Zlatan things and Pogba things.

The 10 Players With The Most UEFA Champions League Appearances

The UEFA Champions League is the stage where the world’s finest footballers showcase their skills and ability. To play at this level, you need to be among the world’s finest. To play at this level for many years, you need to be one of the greatest of all-time. 

Here are the ten players with the most appearances in the world’s most prestigious club competition.

Watching David Beckham Provide Outrageous Assists For Various Legends Is A Good Time

When you limit your playing career to Manchester United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy, Milan and Paris Saint-Germain (and represent the English national team for 14 years), you're inevitably going to play alongside some of the world's best players. What's more, if you're a really great passer of the ball, which David Beckham was, you're going to provide a few classy assists for that talent.

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot

Stockholm

(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

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