USA

Who’s To Blame For Houston Dash Getting The Shaft A Second Time?

The Houston Dash cannot catch a break. For the second time in the club’s short history, the Dash acquired a star USWNT player who doesn’t want to play for them. After putting up with an unhappy and unproductive Carli Lloyd for a couple seasons, Houston traded for Christen Press, who refused to report to the squad. The 29-year-old forward instead signed with Göteborg FC in Sweden on Monday. 

Hey, Landon Donovan Scored A Really Nice Goal For Club Leon

Nobody expected a 36-year-old Landon Donovan (who’d really been out of the game for a few years) to tear it up with Club Leon following his shock return to soccer, but we certainly expected more than just four league appearances totaling 37 minutes after joining back on Jan. 12. 

Minutes have been hard to come by for Donovan as manager Gustavo Diaz monitors his progress. However, with a match against Tigres looming next Saturday, Donovan might’ve forced himself into the conversation with this instinctive finish against the San Jose Earthquakes. 

Megan Rapinoe Kicks Off The 2018 NWSL Season With An Unstoppable Free Kick

The sixth season of the National Women’s Soccer League kicked off yesterday with the Seattle Reign hosting the Washington Spirit as one of three matches on opening day. The Reign defeated the Spirit 2-1 at Memorial Stadium in Seattle thanks to goals from USWNT star Megan Rapinoe and new signing Jodie Taylor, an English international.

Rapinoe’s goal came in the 7th minute — a wonderfully struck free kick from over 25 yards out that left Spirit goalkeeper Aubrey Bledsoe, an offseason acquisition from Orlando, no chance.  

Zlatan Announces Move With Five-Word, Full-Page LA Times Advertisement

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is coming to MLS. After previously stating that his aim was to eclipse Napoleon by crossing the Atlantic and conquering the States, the Swedish striker is now en route to Los Angeles and aiming for a spectacular debut on March 31 against LAFC (“El Tráfico”) at an already sold out StubHub Center.

MLS Players Vote Giovani Dos Santos Most Overrated Player In The League

Giovani dos Santos will not be excited to learn that his fellow Major League Soccer players think he's the most overrated player in the league.

In an anonymous survey conducted by ESPN, 11 percent of MLS players surveyed said they thought the LA Galaxy forward was the most overrated player in the league. Also voted to be overrated were Michael Bradley, Jozy Altidore, Gyasi Zardes, Paul Arriola, Benny Feilhaber and Tim Howard. Discerning readers will notice that those are, with the exception of dos Santos, who plays for Mexico, all United States internationals. 

Girl Gets Bored To Death At Sister’s Soccer Game, Unearths 65 Million-Year-Old Fossil

She’s here — the savior of American paleontology. A seven-year-old fossil hoarder of rare vision, technique and digging skills. Will the United States Women’s Paleontology National Team (USWPNT) win the 2032 Fossil-Finding World Cup? If Naomi Vaughan keeps up her recent form over the next 15 years, definitely.

Sorry, as a soccer website, it’s our responsibility to hype these sorts of things to an ungodly degree. 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic Will Reportedly Join MLS This Week

For the last two months, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has reportedly been on the verge of joining Major League Soccer. For the last two months, he has not. However, with less than four months remaining on his Manchester United contract and with Jose Mourinho more than obliging with regards to letting the Swede go, it’s only a matter of time until we see Ibrahimovic in MLS (the Los Angeles Galaxy being the ultimate destination).

The Only American Bagging Goals In Europe Gives Us Reason To Watch The USMNT

Age 21, standing at 6-4 and hailing from Muskego, Wisconsin, you probably think you know the USMNT’s latest salvation at the forward position, Andrija Novakovich. You’ve probably sketched a mental outline of a big, blundering center forward with an affinity for Milwaukee’s Best, but we mustn’t forget that Harry Kane was similarly written off for being a chubby, traveling salesman-looking version of Butt-head. 

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