The Premier League is the richest, bestest (not a word), fanciest, blingiest (also not a word), most-watched, most hyped domestic football competition in the world. It’s the Big League football league, it has all the best players and knows all the best words.
So why do its teams suck so hard when it comes to Europe? Why are three of its four participants already out of the Champions League before we’ve reached the quarterfinals?
From a neutral’s perspective, thank God for Harry Kane. The Tottenham striker scored his 18th and 19th goals of the campaign to keep a bit of pressure on Chelsea before their match against West Ham on Monday. Tottenham defeated Everton 3-2 on Sunday in a match featuring the Premier League’s leading scorers, Kane and Romelu Lukaku.
Here's what we've come to expect from Tottenham in Europe: bed-wetting, crying, tantrums and maybe a little bit of violence.
Spurs are having an excellent season in the Premier League, but once they leave England they've fallen into the habit of completely falling apart. Thursday's Europa League ouster at the hands of Gent was merely the latest in a long line of woeful Tottenham continental performances.
Apart from eventually winning promotion back to the Premier League, the greatest memory of Newcastle United's 2016-17 season will be selling Moussa Sissoko to Tottenham for £30 million. After acquiring him from Toulouse for next to nothing, Sissoko briefly impressed before playing a massive role in Newcastle’s relegation last season. His lone goal of the campaign didn’t arrive until April, a return of one from 37 matches.