Spain

Cristiano Ronaldo Shows Off Fifth Ballon d’Or, Scores A Brace

A meeting between third and fifth in La Liga turned into a rout inside the first half with Real Madrid racing to a 5-0 lead on Sevilla inside the match’s opening 42 minutes. Nacho got the first, Cristiano Ronaldo added a brace on the day his fifth Ballon d’Or trophy was presented to the Bernabeu crowd, Toni Kroos struck the fourth and 19-year-old Achraf Hakimi scored his first La Liga goal for the club.

Dani Carvajal Tried To Game The System And Got Caught

Real Madrid defender Dani Carvajal thought he was being clever. In the waning moments of a 6-0 victory over APOEL on Nov. 21, Carvajal decided to hold the ball instead of throwing it back into play. The referee didn’t like this time wasting and showed him a yellow card. It was Carvajal’s fifth yellow of the Champions League campaign, meaning he would be suspended for the Borussia Dortmund match, but he would be available for the knockout rounds, for which Real Madrid had already qualified. 

According To Dad, Thiago Messi “Is A Phenomenon,” Mateo “A Son Of A Bitch”

We’ve got it, we’ve pinned down two-year-old Mateo Messi’s future on the pitch. After graduating from La Masia summa cum laude, the phenom will replace a 45-year-old Sergio Busquets in Barcelona’s holding midfield role, because, according to father Lionel, Mateo is “un hijo de puta.” He’s a real mean sumbitch.  

The Full Results Of The 2018 FIFA World Cup Draw

The World Cup draw was completed this morning at the State Kremlin Palace in Moscow with the 32 finalist nations placed into eight groups of four. The 2018 FIFA World Cup will kick off on June 14 at Luzhniki Stadium with a match featuring host-side Russia and Saudi Arabia. We now know the makeup of the entire field for the competition as well as the group stage matches that'll captivate the planet next summer. Here are the full results from the 2018 FIFA World Cup draw. 

Santi Cazorla Is In A World Of Darkness

Santi Cazorla is surrounded by darkness. He cannot escape the despair. The omnipresent smile has been replaced by a pained expression, beseeching the soccer gods to bestow upon him a healthy foot. The saga of the never-ending Santi Cazorla injury continued Wednesday when the Arsenal midfielder announced he underwent a ninth surgery in 13 months on his right foot.  

Cazorla’s announcement came via Twitter with a telling photo: the Spaniard, hands clasped as if in prayer, looking to the heavens while blackness surrounds from above and below. 

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