Red Card

Watch Takashi Inui Become The First Footballer In Space

A joint effort between the Japanese and Spanish has seen the first footballer successfully launched into space. Takashi Inui, a Japanese international and midfielder for Eibar, rocketed to infinity and beyond with the help of Spanish goalkeeper Iago Herrerin.

According to our planisphere star chart, Inui is currently near Mars’s moon Phobos, taking pictures of the Martian planet’s polar ice caps. He will hopefully return to Earth in time for Eibar’s next match against against Sporting in the Spanish Cup.

Is This The Death Of Tackling In Football?

Jamie Vardy’s dismissal on Saturday for his lunge on Mame Biram Diouf was predicated on everything but the tackle itself. Having lost the ball to Glen Johnson in the buildup, that particular spirit that invokes images of Skittles Vodka and murmurs of “Chat Shit Get Banged” could be felt through televisions around the globe: Vardy, looking like Pokemon’s Rattata with Red Bull coursing through his mouse veins, was probably about to do something he’d regret.

Watching This Ref Hand Out 5 Cards In 12 Seconds Will Make You Power Hungry

Saturday’s match between Bundesliga leaders RB Leipzig and relegation-threatened FC Ingolstadt was remarkable in that the team at the bottom pulled off a highly improbable 1-0 upset. 

What was exceedingly exceptional was what transpired in second half stoppage time. Referee Markus Schmidt, who’d apparently just put down Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince before running out to officiate this match, showed that it is indeed safer to be feared than loved.

Preston Teammates Sent Off After Fighting Each Other In One-Goal Loss

It simply doesn’t get any more embarrassing or unprofessional than this. Trailing Sheffield Wednesday 2-1 in the English Championship on Saturday, Preston had both their strikers sent off in the final minutes after nearly coming to blows and being separated by teammates.

Eoin Doyle had halved the Preston deficit in the 82nd minute, but he and strike partner Jermaine Beckford were subsequently shown straight reds for violent conduct in the 90th minute. 

Vedad Ibisevic Scored His 100th Bundesliga Goal Then Got Sent Off Less Than 10 Minutes Later

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

It was the best of times for Vedad Ibisevic because he scored twice in Hertha Berlin's 2-1 win over Mainz, with the second marking his 100th Bundesliga goal.

It was the worst of times for Vedad Ibisevic because, less than 10 minutes after scoring his 100th Bundesliga goal, he got a second yellow and was sent off.

The Record For The Fastest Red Card Ever In Soccer

The record for the fastest red card ever in soccer is somewhat dubious: is it limited to professionals? What about amateur leagues? Does the player actually have to play a second before being sent off? These are the kinds of ridiculous variables you must factor into determining the fastest red card ever in soccer.

According to the Guardian, there have been a number of instances when substitutes have been sent off without having ever played a second in the match.

Edin Dzeko Sent-Off For Stripping An Opponent

On a day when we've questioned everything and discussed some of the stranger red card offenses in the history of the game, this should come as no surprise. In Sunday's draw between Greece and Bosnia we witnessed one of the most ridiculous red cards of all-time. The culprit was Bosnia striker Edin Dzeko, who earned a second yellow by stripping Greece's Sokratis.