Opinion

MLS Rankings Of Power: Week Five

Wow, five straight weeks. Nobody thought we would make it this far. It’s our wooden anniversary, but you won’t find anybody celebrating around here — we’ve got some kinetic energy to investigate. 

It’s time to switch up the intro because, by now, you should know the drill. If you don’t, here’s the breakdown: the best team in MLS is still the Timber Joeys!, the worst team in MLS is now Sons By Name Of Ben. That’s the table. That’s who wins the ATL-ULTRAS-WATCH-UR-MOUTH Shield and who gets sent down to try and figure out where in the f**k Indy Eleven is.  

Leicester City Are An Unsolvable Riddle That Should Terrify Atletico Madrid

February 22nd, 2017: The jig is up. Leicester City have escaped Sevilla with only a single-goal deficit, but the final scoreline could’ve and should’ve seen Sevilla travel to the King Power Stadium with a three or four goal advantage. 

Leicester City are done and dusted — they’ve been tactically found out, the one-year wonders of Riyad Mahrez, Jamie Vardy and a defensive backline that’s suddenly had a massive epiphany regarding their own individual shortcomings means that the Foxes are doomed.

La Liga Dominates Europe But Continues To Be Plagued By Internal Issues

It’s safe to say that Spain has been the most dominate footballing country over the past decade at both the club and international level. Since 2005, a team from La Liga has won the UEFA Cup/Europa League seven times and the Champions League on six occasions. Of those 13 titles won by Spanish clubs, four of those finals have pitted Spanish clubs against one another in the final.

At the international level, the Spanish national team has won two European Cups (2008, 2012) and a World Cup (2010).  

UEFA Cup/Europa League

MLS Rankings Of Power: Week Four

We’ve never understood power rankings, especially when you can just look at the standings for an official, unarguable list of who’s the best (The Timber Joeys!) and who’s the worst (Kyle Beckerman's Roving Circus of Misfits!). So, with a desire to not do something so unnecessary and redundant, but rather create a new list that makes very little sense, we present: The MLS Rankings of Power.

Every week, we’ll update this monstrosity in the hope of finding the most powerful person, place or thing in the most major of major soccer leagues. Let us continue.

There Is No Love Lost For Gonzalo Higuain In Naples

In Naples, they have a book for interpreting dreams. La Smorfia, translated as "the Grimace," provides the user with guidance, teaching them to take their night time adventures and turn them into a series of numbers. You can then use these numbers to play the lottery. For instance, should you dream of Italy or of God, then you should pick the number one. If you dream of a deranged person, then number 22 is particularly auspicious.

If you have a nightmare, then you should be selecting the number ninety. Using your dreams, you can predict the future.

Pages