Manchester United

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot


(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

Manchester United Survive Late Push From Celta Vigo To Advance To The Europa League Final

Celta de Vigo came agonizingly close to scoring a vital second away goal that would've seen them advance to the Europa League Final. In the sixth minute of extra time, striker John Guidetti mishit a bouncing cross from ten yards out, and United cleared the ball out of the box before hearing a long awaited final whistle. Any shot on goal would've beaten United keeper Sergio Romero, who was out of position defending against the last-minute surge from Celta.

Brilliant Ball From Marcus Rashford Finds Marouane Fellaini For A Goal

Manchester United extended their lead against Celta Vigo with a all-important goal from Marouane Fellaini. Henrikh Mkhitaryan found Marcus Rashford in space, and he delivered a perfect pass to Fellaini at the far post. A simple header from close range beat keeper Sergio Alvarez, who could only get a hand on the shot. Celta Vigo controlled possession early on, needing at least one away goal to advance. Their task just became much more difficult.

Marcus Rashford Dive Saddens Children Everywhere

Marcus Rashford is a likable guy. Even those of us who are not Manchester United fans have to admire his earnest demeanor and fairytale-like story.

Signed to Manchester United's academy system at only seven years old, Rashford rose through the club ranks to make a series of impressive debuts – scoring in each and every one of them.

Here's a list of debut games with United's first team in which Rashford scored:

First-team debut (Europa League): 2 goals

Premier League debut (versus Arsenal): 2 goals