Manchester United

Jose Mourinho Doesn't Care About You

Jose Mourinho's job is to win soccer games.

Actually, I'm going to walk that back. Jose Mourinho's job is to not lose soccer games, and he is extraordinarily good at it. What he is not extraordinarily good at is caring about literally anything else. For example, the feelings of anyone who may be watching one of his teams play a soccer game.

As such, readers will be shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that Manchester United travelled to Liverpool, parked the bus for 90 minutes and came away with a point. Importantly, they did not win. More importantly, they did not lose.

Get Excited For Manchester United-Liverpool By Watching Steven Gerrard Headbutt Marouane Fellaini

Manchester United and Liverpool will play tomorrow in what is sure to be a heated match between two teams that really don't like each other. As evidence of these feelings, I present Steven Gerrard and Marouane Fellaini: