Manchester United

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot


(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

Manchester United Survive Late Push From Celta Vigo To Advance To The Europa League Final

Celta de Vigo came agonizingly close to scoring a vital second away goal that would've seen them advance to the Europa League Final. In the sixth minute of extra time, striker John Guidetti mishit a bouncing cross from ten yards out, and United cleared the ball out of the box before hearing a long awaited final whistle. Any shot on goal would've beaten United keeper Sergio Romero, who was out of position defending against the last-minute surge from Celta.

Brilliant Ball From Marcus Rashford Finds Marouane Fellaini For A Goal

Manchester United extended their lead against Celta Vigo with a all-important goal from Marouane Fellaini. Henrikh Mkhitaryan found Marcus Rashford in space, and he delivered a perfect pass to Fellaini at the far post. A simple header from close range beat keeper Sergio Alvarez, who could only get a hand on the shot. Celta Vigo controlled possession early on, needing at least one away goal to advance. Their task just became much more difficult.