Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez Should Quit Soccer And Fulfill His Destiny As The Third Property Brother

Luis Suarez is having a time of it this season, and we think it might be time for him to try something new.

One goal in 10 Champions League appearances just isn't going to cut it for Barcelona (his record is much better in La Liga, to be fair), so Suarez should cut his losses now and retire from soccer to fulfill his destiny as the third property brother.

Tell me with a straight face Lucho shouldn't be sitting in a chair next to these two talking about how biting people affected his career in real estate. You can't.

If Messi Scores Like This In LaLiga, What Would He Do In MLS?

At around the same time that Zlatan Ibrahimovic made his MLS debut for the LA Galaxy on Saturday, scoring a late equalizer and then game-winner in dramatic fashion, another football icon made a late entrance and saved the day. In this case, the player was Lionel Messi and the circumstance was a two-goal deficit against Sevilla, an unbeaten season on the line.

Messi’s Inch-Perfect Through Ball Sets Up Suarez For Barca Game-Winner

Barcelona opened a 10-point lead at the top of La Liga with a 2-0 victory over Eibar, although Atletico Madrid can again reduce the gap when they host Athletic Bilbao Sunday. The game-winner was scored by Luis Suarez — his 17th in 21 league matches — in the 16th minute after the Uruguayan striker was played through by an inch-perfect ball from Lionel Messi.

Two Minutes Of Luis Suarez Gold, Including Great Goal And Death By Phantom Sniper

On the pitch, Luis Suarez is insane. It’s part and parcel of his playing style. He doesn’t offer the aesthetic subtleties of his Barcelona teammates, but instead harnesses the inner energies of a footballing Babadook to terrorize defenses with whatever means are at his disposal.

During Saturday’s El Clasico, there was a two-minute spell — between the match’s 54th and 56th minutes — that brilliantly encapsulated the art of Suarez. 

Pages