Italy

Francesco Totti Hits A Volley So Hard That It Would’ve Destroyed Carthage

Francisco Totti’s thunderous training volley put an end to the Third Punic War today. The volley cracked off his boot and resulted in a breaching of the Carthaginian's walls and the sacking of the city. When this firecracker smote the back of the net, Carthage was systematically burned for 17 days, utterly destroying all remnants of the 700-year-old empire.

Periodic Reminder That Joe Hart Is Trash

Legendary German goalkeeper Jens Lehmann said England goalkeeper Joe Hart is not world class, and for some reason this was taken as controversial by the types of English newspapers that spend a lot of time reporting how expensive Romelu Lukaku's car is.

Really, it shouldn't be controversial. Joe Hart is not and has never been world class. I do not possess the the ability to see into the future, but I'm guessing Hart won't be world class there, either.

Juventus' Simple Season Has Been Complicated By Barcelona And Organized Crime

It has been a complicated week for Juventus. The almost-crowned champions of Italian football have been up and down an emotional rollercoaster, hitting the headlines for events on and off the pitch. As ever with the biggest club in Serie A, there are claims of wrongdoing on one side and claims of the Old Lady being unfairly targeted on the other. Controversy reigns supreme, but with the season drawing to a close, what sort of position are Juve in?

Pepe Reina, The Save And A Leak On The Corner Flag Highlight Serie A's Race For Second Place

The fight for second place in Serie A is serious business. Roma and Napoli are not fighting solely for the privilege of finishing behind Juventus, but battling to avoid a Champions League playoff qualifying spot. So bad is the history of Italian teams in the playoff rounds that Italy has, more often than not in recent years, only had two representatives in the group stages of Europe’s premier footballing tournament.

Thus, when Roma and Napoli played one another this weekend, the chance to finish in second was up for grabs.

Fiorentina’s Two Unforgivable Collapses In Five Days Spell The End Of Paulo Sousa

Fiorentina manager Paulo Sousa has a problem. Paulo Sousa isn’t very good at his job. What’s more, people are starting to notice. For a while now, Fiorentina fans have been trying to tell anyone who will listen that the Portuguese manager is performing well below expectations. After two high profile capitulations in the space of a week, Sousa’s problem is now clear for all to see. Paulo Sousa isn’t very good at his job.

It’s Clear Who Juventus Need To Buy To Clinch Next Year’s Serie A Title In The Summer

The offseason purchases of Mirlalem Pjanic from Roma (€32 million) and Gonzalo Higuain from Napoli (€75.3 million) haven’t debilitated the selling clubs, but they have had the desired effect for Juventus. Higuain has scored 19 goals, tied with Edin Dzeko for the most in the league, and no Juventus player has more assists than Pjanic.

Even more importantly, Napoli, the team that ran them closest last season, will come short of last season’s total of 82 points while Juventus look poised to surpass their own total of 91. There’s no surer gauge of the impact of that transfer.

Juventus Will Be Without Leonardo Bonucci vs. Porto After He Cussed Out His Manager

The three-headed monster that is the Juventus defense will be without Leonardo Bonucci, who has the most minutes of the three in both Serie A and the Champions League, for Juventus’ first leg match against Porto. The club has every right to believe that the strength of Giorgio Chiellini and Andrea Barzagli in defense will be enough at Porto’s Estadio do Dragao, but the loss of Bonucci can only benefit the Portuguese club.

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