International Soccer

Twitter Goes Ballistic On Sepp Blatter After He Tweets To A Baby Saying FIFA Shouldn’t Sell Out Football

Sepp Blatter is a douchenoggle, I believe we can all agree on this. The former FIFA president oversaw decades of corruption in football’s world governing body before eventually being banned from the sport. But this dude can’t stay out of the limelight, as evidenced by another absurd Sepp Blatter tweet on Thursday.

Homosexuality Is Illegal In Morocco; Will That Keep FIFA From Holding A World Cup There?

Despite a decade of evidence to the contrary, FIFA has been trying to show it has some shred of human decency recently by stating that human rights are an aspect that must be considered when voting for the 2026 World Cup bid. According to a recent Associated Press report, Morocco has been trying to hide one of its human rights violations from FIFA — and it could cost them the World Cup. 

If The U.S. Is Ever Going To Have Soccer Success, We Need To Be More Like Iceland

The USSF has launched its bio-banding initiative. The search for the American Messi is buoyed by widespread support for an increased scouting budget. And despite the U.S. team's absence this summer, World Cup fever will clear sporting goods stores of adidas Predators as surely as Brood X cicadas will reemerge in 2021. 

Jessica Silva Is The Scariest Player In The Dang Universe

If you ever find yourself, as a defender, in a situation in which Jessica Silva has the ball somewhere in the vicinity of the corner flag and you are standing between her and the goal, just give up. Accept that she is going to humiliate you and get on with your life. Move into a cabin in the woods and meditate. Live off the land. Develop a hobby like woodworking. No one can nutmeg you when you're woodworking.

Silva, though, will nutmeg you. She will nutmeg you to death. Here is proof, via Portugal's 2019 World Cup qualifier against Belgium: