Injuries

Operating Room Reacts To Claudio Bravo’s Penalty Heroics During Surgery

Claudio Bravo’s heroics in net for Chile yesterday made for can’t-miss television as the reigning South American champions dumped out Cristiano Ronaldo’s Portugal in the Confederations Cup semifinals. The gravitational pull of international soccer was at the height of its attraction as evidenced by this operating room taking the time to watch the shootout.

2017 Calcio Storico Reaches Bone-Crunching Conclusion Tomorrow

The final of Florence’s Calcio Storico goes down tomorrow between the districts of Santa Maria Novella (the Reds) and Santo Spirito (the Whites), and the road to the championship, as you might’ve guessed, has been paved with blood, guts and fisticuffs. If you haven’t heard of Calcio Storico, here’s a quick introduction to the most hardcore sport outside of Razor Scooters.

Eden Hazard Reportedly Out For The Rest Of The Summer After Breaking Ankle With Belgium

Chelsea attacker Eden Hazard has had his summer cut short via an ankle injury. The 26-year-old reported Real Madrid target twisted his ankle during Belgium training on Sunday, and scans revealed his ankle is broken.

No timetable has been given by Chelsea or Belgium for his return, but the speculation seems to be centered around whether Hazard will be fit for the start of the season in August.

Alex Morgan Injured, Replaced By Lynn Williams In USWNT Camp

On Thursday Olympique Lyonnais topped Paris Saint-Germain in the Women’s UEFA Champions League final. Lyon took home the trophy after eight rounds of penalty kicks, topping PSG 7-6. The win gave Lyon their second straight treble and saw them tie the record of most Champions League titles at four.

USWNT superstar striker Alex Morgan started up top for OL after putting in a wonderful debut season with the club. And, while she will gladly take the UEFA title in her first attempt, her night was marred by an injury in the 23rd minute.

How To Build A Better Zlatan Robot

Stockholm

(At The ZlatanBot Factory)

Scientist: sir, the unit has broken down. A failure of the knee joint, apparently

Boss guy: Goddammit the warranty just expired

Other scientist: well, at least this will give us a chance to improve the unit

Zlatan: I am right here, and I can hear you. I am Zlatan, and I am already as close to perfect as can possibly exist

Scientist: well at least the hearing module still works

Other scientist: and the confidence module

Zlatan: Everything works I am Zlatan

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