Highlights

Gumby Hits A Banger From Too Far Out

If we had the resources, I would’ve recreated this goal in clay animation, but our clay animation studio is not finished yet. We are sending Sam Klomhaus out to procure clay so I can begin.

Marcel Schafer’s leg just reminds me of Gumby. I’ve never seen a leg move like that and not been sick to my stomach at the outcome. He’s got Gumby ligaments or ligaments like Street Fighter’s Dhalsim. 

Newcastle Flop Florian Thauvin Looks Like The Next Franck Ribery Again

Newcastle United's policy of purchasing young French players and selling them for a massive profit came to end following last year’s relegation. That embarrassing demise, Newcastle’s second relegation in only eight years, proved that the club’s model of operating was disastrously shortsighted.

For every revelation that chief scout Graham Carr discovered on the cheap in Ligue 1 (Hatem Ben Arfa, Yohan Cabaye, Moussa Sissoko and Mathieu Debuchy), there were the counterpoints of Sylvain Marveaux, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Emmanuel Riviera and Remy Cabella.  

Sydney Leroux Scores In Her First Game Back Since Giving Birth

Sydney Leroux made her first competitive appearance since June 30, 2015, and she opened the scoring for FC Kansas City against Boston. Leroux and husband Dom Dwyer, who plays for Sporting Kansas City, announced that they were expecting their first child back in January of 2016 and that Leroux would miss the 2016 NWSL as a result. 

Cassius Cruz Dwyer was born on September 10, 2016, and Leroux made her highly anticipated FC Kansas City debut on Saturday and provided a great finish after a sensational pass from Becky Sauerbrunn. 

Footage Of Robinho’s Real Madrid Debut Belongs In An Art Gallery

Robinho made a name for himself in Brazil when he rose through the youth ranks at Santos to sign his first professional contract with the club as an 18-year-old. That very same year (2002), before the launch of YouTube or anything else that allowed videos to be shared virally on a global level, there was hearsay of the next Pele having drawn a penalty in the Brazilian championship final with a ‘pedalada’ so mesmerizing that it beggared description.

Dortmund-Monaco Escalates Into 3-2 Barn Burner Ft. Mbappe and Pulisic

AS Monaco scored three vital away goals against Borussia Dortmund at the Westfalenstadion, but you get the feeling that this tie favors whichever team is forced into having the attacking onus. The second leg in Monaco promises more of the same, and this time it’ll be Dortmund needing to force the issue.

Thomas Tuchel opted for a more conservative approach to start the match, playing Sven Bender, Sokratis and Lukasz Piszcezek in the back and opting for Marcel Schmelzer and Matthias Ginter as wing backs.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's Ridiculous Backheel Halves Dortmund’s Deficit

Thomas Tuchel sent on Christian Pulisic and Nuri Sahin to start the second half with Borussia Dortmund trailing Monaco 2-0, and the match has immediately turned in favor of the German club.

Dortmund have now halved the deficit after a ridiculously acrobatic backheel flick from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang found Shinji Kagawa behind the defense. He squared it to Ousmane Dembele and the youngster tapped it in.

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