Highlights

Sporting KC’s Extra Time Win Was The Type Of U.S. Open Cup Crazy We Love To See

The U.S. Open Cup didn’t disappoint on Tuesday, with Sporting KC and FC Dallas combining for three red cards and three extra-time goals in a wild game at Children’s Mercy Park in Kansas City, Kansas. 

The home side prevailed 3-0 despite going down a man in the 15th minute. The full highlights are worth the watch:

Algerian Attacker Ziri Hammar Absolutely Laces One

If you put your ear close enough to your device’s audio speaker, you can hear this shot whistle. I s**t you not, whether you're at the office, on the bus or in a public library, play the video again but put your ear right next the speaker like its a seashell and turn it way, way up.

That’s the rushing sound of Ziri Hammar just lacing a shot for Algerian club USM Alger against Zimbabwe’s CAPS United in the CAF Champions League group stage. 

Marco Fabian's 40-Yard Stunner Against Germany Voted Goal Of The Confederations Cup

Mexico fans were not super excited with the way El Tri ended their run at the Confederations Cup. A 4-1 defeat to Germany in the semifinals followed by a 2-1 defeat to a Cristiano-less Portugal in the third place game left most folks feeling Mexico should have been more competitive.

Mexico were, however, still capable of moments of magic, as Marco Fabian proved with the consolation goal against Germany, which was named the goal of the Confederations Cup.

Mexico Win 3-1, Salvadoran Gets Magic Spray On Naked Butt Cheek In Front Of 50,000

Elias Hernandez had himself one helluva time on Sunday night against El Salvador, scoring a goal with a vicious volley and assisting on both Hedgardo Marin and Orbelin Pineda’s strikes. 

El Salvador pulled one back through Nelson Bonilla to briefly level the match at 1-1 in the 10th minute, but Mexico were deserved winners with a controlled display of mesmerizing passing. El Tri maintained 66% of possession while completing their passes at a 90% clip, including 82% in the attacking half.

Neymar And Gabriel Jesus Put On An Incredible 5v5 Futsal Skill Show

Brazilian internationals Neymar and Gabriel Jesus put on a show in a Red Bull five-a-side competition this weekend, embarrassing opponents while the Facebook broadcaster embarrassed himself with some truly godawful commentating. 

It’s a difficult job trying hype a competition — and every single thing that happens in it — that’s obviously just for s**ts and giggles, but this guy clearly doesn’t know that Gabriel Jesus isn’t Gabigol — that’s fellow Brazilian Gabriel Barbosa, who plays for Inter Milan. 

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