Ricardo Pereira Juked A Defender So Bad It Looked Like He'd Been Shot

Fabio Coentrao was probably having a nice day Wednesday. The Sporting left back (on loan from Real Madrid) was outside, running around on the grass, playing soccer against Porto in the first leg of the Taca da Liga semifinals.

Then, Porto's Ricardo Pereira turned on the gravity and Coentrao's day went from good to extremely bad. Pereira got the ball on the right wing and burst into space with Coentrao in hot pursuit. Then Pereira hit the brakes and a big chunk of gravity whumped into Coentrao, who hit the deck. 

45-Yard Howitzer In Copa MX Will Make You Spit Out Your Morning Coffee

Liga MX’s Atlas welcomed second-tier Tampico Madero to the Estadio Jalisco on Wednesday night, and the courageous Brave Crabs of Tampico pulled off a stunning upset that all began with a 45-yard piece of violence from 19-year-old forward Eduardo Aguirre.

A penalty from Atlas’ Milton Caraglio gave his side a 1-0 lead in the 44th minute, but a five-minute brace from Aguirre turned the match on its head, gave Tampico Madero the three points and put them on the cusp of the knockout stage.

Ivo Rodrigues Broke Geometry With This Insane Finish

This is the sort of goal players score in practice against a goalkeeper who is only sort of paying attention, then post on Instagram and get like a bajillion likes (or faves, or whatever the currency for post popularity is on Instagram. I am not on Instagram), only Ivo Rodrigues did it in a game.

Rodrigues, a Portuguese winger on loan at Royal Antwerp in Belgium from Porto, scored that goal in a league match against Oostende (Royal Antwerp won, 4-3) near the end of August, and it just won Belgium's Goal of the Year award. Deserved, we think.

Watch Chucky Lozano Finish Off PSV's Only Goal Against Excelsior

We've written about Hirving "Chucky" Lozano's so-far excellent first season in Europe more times than we can count, but we are going to do it again because Chucky scored again.

Lozano finished off a wonderful team move for PSV (the assist from Luuk de Jong is just great) in the 17th minute against Excelsior in the Eredivisie Wednesday. It was the only goal of the match.

58 Seconds Of Shite Football That Will Make Arsenal Fans Forget All About Xhakastrophic Cechtastrophies

Arsenal fans know all about catastrophic blunders in defense this year. From Granit Xhaka completely switching off to Petr Cech whiffing on a kick, the Gunners’ defensive frailty is terrifying — and that’s just the Swansea game. But Ayr United in Scotland has Arsenal beat for ineptitude at the back. This video is just under a minute long, but it’s 58 seconds of the worst football you’ll watch this year. 

Michy Batshuayi Dominates In Bundesliga Debut Thanks To Team America

It took just 34 minutes for new boy Michy Batshuayi to get his first goal for Borussia Dortmund. Fullback Jeremy Toljan, who is eligible to play for the USA, Germany and Croatia at the senior national level (please pick the USA, Jeremy) supplied the assist.