Highlights

Jamaica’s Boyz Are Better Than Canada’s Boys

The Boyz are alright.

For all the hype surrounding Canadian youngsters Alphonso Davies (16 years old) and Cyle Larin (22), it was the Reggae Boyz who impressed most Thursday evening in Phoenix. Jamaica edged Canada 2-1 in the Gold Cup quarterfinals to set up a date with Mexico or Honduras in the semifinals on Sunday.

Jamaica has a chance to reach its second straight Gold Cup final and in doing so knock off the team that beat them in the 2015 final, Mexico. 

See New Manchester United Striker Romelu Lukaku's Best Goals For Everton

Romelu Lukaku is slated to be the next big thing at Manchester United. The former Everton striker has been one of the most dominant players in the Premier League for the last few seasons, and he finally got his move to a mega club.

At Manchester United, Lukaku will be expected to score bucketfuls of goals, without much support. He has Paul Pogba, Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Marcus Rashford, Anthony Martial and Juan Mata as his pipeline, but Manchester United's midfield really needs work.

Fortunately for United, Lukaku is really, really good:

Hilarious Portland Own Goal, DC United In Epic Collapse, NYRB Score 5 As MLS Returns

Welcome back, MLS. We didn’t really miss you, but we’re glad you’re back.

After taking a two-week break for the start of the Gold Cup (but resuming before the end of the Gold Cup, because, you know, CONCACAF), MLS returned with a bang on Wednesday. 

But, since most MLS fans were probably watching Team USA on Wednesday instead, here’s a rundown of the night’s action, which included six pretty good matches and then a drab 0-0 draw between Minnesota and Houston. 

See Chicharito's Best Goals For Bayer Leverkusen Ahead Of His Move To West Ham

Chicharito is on his way to West Ham for a medical, and if everything is good and cool there he will become a West Ham player. He will return to the Premier League after two seasons with Bayer Leverkusen. During his first season in Germany, Chicharito lit the world on fire with 26 goals in 40 appearances. During the second season he was good but not great, but he still had some pretty cool goals.

El Salvador’s Henry Romero Becomes A Legend Of Gold Cup Erotica

The United States are through to the Gold Cup semifinals, but the real story on Wednesday night was the erotic interplay between USMNT striker Jozy Altidore and his tight man-to-man marker, El Salvador’s Henry Romero.

The City of Brotherly Love was truly feeling the heat yesterday evening as Romero pinched and twisted Altidore’s nipple and took a nice little chomp on his shoulder for good measure. Romero was booked in the 81st minute, but he kept Altidore off the scoresheet for 90 minutes, so mission accomplished.

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