Goals

Our Christian Pulisic Hype Meter Is Threatening To Off Itself

Hey, so this is going well, don’t you think? To be honest, it's really going too well. Our Pulisic-O-Meter wasn't designed well enough to withstand this breakneck pace of USMNT wins in the Bundesliga. 

After scoring against Bayern Munich in the German Super Cup to jump-start his 2017-18 season, Christian Pulisic opened his league campaign with a goal and an assist against Wolfsburg on Saturday.

If Neymar Wanted To Win The Puskas, He Came To The Right Place

While we don’t know if Neymar will some day win the Ballon d’Or with Paris Saint-Germain, we can say with confidence that he’s dramatically increased his chances of winning the FIFA Puskas Award by joining the Ligue 1 side.

PSG scored six goals against Toulouse on Sunday, and they were all pretty exceptional.

Javier Mascherano’s Patented Anus-Tearing Tackle Sparks Barcelona Victory

With Ousmane Dembele’s transfer opera turning sour and Luis Suarez out for up to five weeks with a knee injury, Barcelona opened their La Liga campaign on Sunday with Lionel Messi shouldering the burden of his side’s attacking ambition.

But the play of the day wasn’t provided by Messi, it was provided by the only Argentinian teammate he can rely on, Javier Mascherano. 

Huddersfield Town Retain Invincibles Status For Another Week

With a 1-0 victory over Newcastle United, Huddersfield Town rose to second place in the Premier League table, sitting behind Manchester United on goal difference alone. We’re only two weeks into the season, but the Terriers are off to an almighty flyer in the top division.

German-American coach David Wagner and his squad are Invincibles.  

This week’s result isn’t as eye-catching as their 3-0 win over Crystal Palace, but Huddersfield looked exceptionally more qualified for life in the Premier League than fellow newcomers Newcastle.

Watch Hapoel Be'er Sheva's Anthony Nwakaeme Hammer The Best Goal Of The Champions League Playoffs

The Champions League group stage will begin next month. Until then, we must make do with the exploits of lesser-known clubs like Hapoel Be'er Sheva and Liverpool.

The former produced what is sure to be one of the goals of the season, a sweet volley from Anthony Nwakaeme.

Slovakian Second Division The Site Of A Truly Heinous Last-Minute Winner

A match between FK Pohronie and Spisska Nova Ves in the Slovakian second division has thrown up one of the greatest match-winning goals of all time. The hit was provided by Pohronie’s Lukas Pelegrini at the death after his side had been unable to breakdown the opposition, who had a man sent off in the 43rd minute.

Based on the levels of dejectedness here, you can assume that the 10-man side had defended like lions for an entire half. Based on the levels of pure ecstasy for the goalscoring side here, you can assume that this howitzer was greatly appreciated.

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