Goals

It's Knuckleball Time!

Here’s a fine example of the commentator’s curse (not that Kaizer Chiefs and South Africa No. 1 Itumeleng Khune could do much about it). With the broadcasters waxing lyrical about Khune’s distribution from goalkeeper, Polokwane City’s Walter Musona stepped up and drilled a sensational free kick into the top corner.

21-Year-Old America Striker Lucero Cuevas Scores Another Stunner In Liga MX Femenil

After leading the Liga MX Femenil Apertura season with 15 goals in 14 matches, Club America striker Lucero Cuevas is picking up right where she left off in the Clausura. On Monday, America defeated Pachuca 3-2 with Cuevas scoring a brace, including the go-ahead goal in the 48th minute and what would prove to be the match-winner in the 51st.

Doucoure Scores With His Hand Because England Is In The Dark Ages

Abdoulaye Doucouré is one cheeky fella. The Watford midfielder took advantage of some poor refereeing and some poor decision-making from the English FA to help earn his team a point with a 2-2 draw. You see, the 90th-minute Doucoure goal vs Southampton was scored with the Frenchman’s hand. 

Yes, it’s still illegal to use your hands if you’re not the goalie. And no, England hasn’t joined the rest of the civilized world by adopting VAR. So yeah, the goal stood, and Southampton is rightly livid. 

This James Rodriguez Goal Is As Delicate As A German Shepherd Picking Up A Kitten By Its Head

James Rodriguez welcomed the Bundesliga back from its winter break with a sublime piece of accuracy, an exquisite free kick to cap off Bayern Munich’s 3-1 victory over Bayer Leverkusen on Friday. With the Munich holding a one-goal lead heading into stoppage time, the reigning German champions got a little bit of wiggle room thanks to the James Rodriguez free kick goal. 

Hector Herrera And Miguel Layun On Target To Lift Porto Into Portuguese Cup Semis

FC Porto defeated Moreirense 2-1 in the Taca de Portugal (the country’s premier knockout competition) with Mexico internationals Hector Herrera and Miguel Layun providing the goals. Porto haven’t won the Cup since 2011, but they’ll now play fierce rivals Sporting CP in a Dragões vs Leões semifinal. 

Herrera scored the game’s opening goal in the eighth minute after a fine run from Tiquinho. The midfielder applied the finish with a lovely dink over the keeper. 

Lionel Messi Cuts Once, Twice, Thrice On Ivan Rakitic And Ruins His Day

Sometimes I think about Michael Owen. It’s a certain thought experiment pertaining to Owen joining Manchester United in 2009 as a 29-year-old on a two-year deal and playing very, very little. With most expecting him to find a new club in 2011 after starting only six Premier League matches in two seasons, he instead signed a one-year extension while explaining his decision thus:

Luciano Vietto’s Amazing Hat-Trick Of Ever-Increasing Quality For Valencia

Valencia eased into the Copa del Rey quarterfinals with a 4-0 victory over Las Palmas at the Mestalla on Tuesday, the Cup match playing out entirely like La Liga’s third-place side going up against the club in 20th. Valencia’s Luciano Vietto, who’s on loan at Los Che from Atletico Madrid, scored an amazing hat-trick of ever-increasing quality to lead the way.

The 24-year-old Argentinian gave Valencia a 1-0 advantage (2-1 on aggregate) in the 30th minute with a side-footed finish on the rebound after Simone Zaza’s header was miraculously saved by Raul Lizoain. 

Twitter Helps USMNT Defender Eric Lichaj Get A Dog — And It Has The Perfect Name

American-born defender Eric Lichaj had a deal with his wife: Score a hat trick and she will finally let him get a dog. The Nottingham Forest defender came oh so close to scoring a hat trick against Arsenal during the FA Cup on Sunday. After Lichaj asked Twitter to bombard his wife with dog memes, she caved. Eric Lichaj finally has a dog. 

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