PSG Really Doesn’t Need This Kind Of Help From Opponents

Christmas came early for Paris Saint-Germain. So what do you get the club that has money to buy everything? You gift them goals, of course. With über-expensive signings Neymar and Kylian Mbappe not starting, Strasbourg gave PSG two early goals in a 4-2 victory for the Parisians in a League Cup match on Wednesday. 

PSG really does not need anyone’s charity. The club that spent half a billion dollars on Neymar, not to mention another absurdly high fee for Mbappe, is doing just fine, thank you.

2018's Most Anticipated Film Gets The Loosely Based Soccer Treatment

If you’re in the know — a filmophile of sorts — you’ll be aware of the fever gripping the planet, a fever that’s only cured by a heavy dose of nostalgia. We need to ‘member childhood. We need to travel to a long time ago and a place far away. We need to see the forces of good and evil locked in a timeless battle while we veg out in a CGI-induced state of classical conditioning.

And so everyone is losing their collective shit over the approaching release of Rampage starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Help This Bundesliga Referee Find The Penalty Spot

During Sunday's Bundesliga match between Cologne and Freiburg, the referee called a penalty for Cologne. The only problem was no one could find the penalty spot. So where is it? We think we can figure it out.

Here are some suggestions for where the referee could look:

-In the couch cushions

-Under the bed

-In the garage

-In the attic

Aleksandr Kokorin Missed The Type Of Chance That Gives Strikers Nightmares

Aleksandr Kokorin is too good a player to miss like this, but it could be argued that EVERY professional soccer player is too good a player to miss like this.

Kokorin is a Russian international and has played in Russia his whole professional career, so I would like to apologize in advance for the following joke, which as a professional soccer blogger I am contractually obligated to make:

You might say he missed the . . .

 . . . 

 . . . 



Following a dust-up in the tunnel after the Manchester derby, the Internet is rife with speculation as to what actually happened. 

Were Manchester City really celebrating that loudly? Did Jose Mourinho actually get milk thrown on him? What in the world happened to Mikel Arteta's eye? These are all questions that we have. Questions that demand answers. Especially the milk one. That's just hilarious.

Player Gets Sent Off, Tries To Fight A Door

Anderlecht's Lukasz Teodorczyk was sent off on the weekend, and he was NOT happy about it. Teodorczyk was so not happy that he attacked an inanimate object — in this case a simple, innocent door — with his noggin. That's about as not happy as it gets when it comes to sports. Hitting things with one's head tends to hurt, after all.