Fails

Aleksandr Kokorin Missed The Type Of Chance That Gives Strikers Nightmares

Aleksandr Kokorin is too good a player to miss like this, but it could be argued that EVERY professional soccer player is too good a player to miss like this.

Kokorin is a Russian international and has played in Russia his whole professional career, so I would like to apologize in advance for the following joke, which as a professional soccer blogger I am contractually obligated to make:

You might say he missed the . . .

 . . . 

 . . . 

nyet.

Tigres Win Liga MX Apertura Championship Thanks To One Of The Worst PKs We’ve Ever Seen

With everything on the line, Aviles Hurtado channeled his inner Simone Zaza, hitting an absolutely appalling penalty kick to cost Monterrey the Liga MX Apertura championship, allowing UANL to pull off an impressive comeback to win 3-2 on aggregate on Sunday.

The Rayados took an early lead in the second leg on Sunday before two quick-fire goals helped the Tigres win the 2017 Apertura title after losing the preceding Clausura clash with Chivas in May. 

Dani Carvajal Tried To Game The System And Got Caught

Real Madrid defender Dani Carvajal thought he was being clever. In the waning moments of a 6-0 victory over APOEL on Nov. 21, Carvajal decided to hold the ball instead of throwing it back into play. The referee didn’t like this time wasting and showed him a yellow card. It was Carvajal’s fifth yellow of the Champions League campaign, meaning he would be suspended for the Borussia Dortmund match, but he would be available for the knockout rounds, for which Real Madrid had already qualified. 

Surprise! The Chinese Super League Is Completely Unsustainable

It turns out spending millions of dollars on manager Andre Villas-Boas and immediate want-aways Carlos Tevez and Jackson Martinez amounts to little more than burning money for the Chinese Super League. According to a recent audit by accounting firm PwC and as reported by Goal, the CSL’s clubs are currently in a combined debt of over $600 million.

Why Would Anybody Ever Do This?

Wednesday’s Scottish Premiership match between second-place Aberdeen and third-place Rangers quickly descended into stereotypes about Scottish football after Aberdeen’s Greg Tansey just clattered Rangers midfielder Jason Holt in the box.

Tansey unloaded his flailing, spinning whiff with only seven minutes gone and was then shamefully (or mercifully) hooked in the 43rd minute. With the mighty Bhoys of Celtic dropping points against Motherwell, this could’ve been an excellent opportunity for Aberdeen to put some pressure on the pacesetters. Instead, this happened.

Sublime Assist From Gareth Bale Overshadowed By Keylor Navas Blunder

Gareth Bale made his return from another injury layoff with an exquisite assist for Real Madrid, but goalkeeper Keylor Navas’ ricocheted blunder may have overshadowed Bale’s attempted heroics. Real Madrid drew 2-2 against Fuenlabrada in the second leg of their Copa del Rey Round of 32 match on Tuesday, advancing 4-2 on aggregate as the club’s (relative) struggles continued this season.

It Took Just 16 Minutes For Marcos Antonio To Turn Himself Into A Laughingstock

Marcos Antonio's Bundesliga debut for Nurnberg in 2012 against Stuttgart was so bad the Brazilian defender was substituted after 16 minutes and never played for the club again (granted, a big part of that was injuries). It was one of just two appearances Antonio made for the club, the first coming in the DFB Pokal against TSV Havelse.

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