Europe

Manchester United Have Released Zlatan

The good news is this move makes Manchester United once again much easier to hate. That's right, Zlatan is gone, banished from Manchester United after 42 appearances, 28 goals and one horrible knee injury.

Obviously Zlatan is going to come back. He is Zlatan, after all. The question is where, and that is a question for another day. Today, we must wrap our heads around the fact that we actually kind of liked Manchester United for a bit there, when they had Zlatan and Pogba doing Zlatan things and Pogba things.

Falcao Back In Form Only Good Thing About Spain vs. Colombia Friendly

Spain and Colombia both scored goals in the first half that shouldn't have been let in. Falcao scored a great header in the 54th minute. After an incredible season, winning the French Ligue 1 with AS Monaco, Falcao's swagger and confidence are reminiscent of his Atletico Madrid days. 

The biggest takeaway from this game is that Radamel Falcao is a testament that 31 is the new 25. Don't hang up your boots anytime soon, Monaco is begging you. 

Why Did Juventus Receive More Champions League Money Than Real Madrid?

With their 4-1 win on Saturday, Real Madrid took home the Champions League trophy for the second straight time (and third in four years), making them the footballing kings of Europe. In spite of this, they won’t be the team taking home the most prize money from this year’s competition. That title belongs to their final counterparts, Juventus.

Gerard Pique Is Getting His MBA At Harvard Business School

Gerard Pique's season was cut short as a result of Barcelona's abbreviated run to the Champions League quarterfinals, but he's keeping himself busy.

Pique reportedly missed the UCL final to attend class at Harvard Business School, where he is studying toward his MBA. He's currently enrolled in The Business of Entertainment, Media, and Sports, a signature class of HBS' Executive Education Program.

This Robot Will Protect British People From Hooligans At Russia 2018

After all the commotion at Euro 2016, there have been concerns that Russian hooligans are going to attack British fans at the World Cup in 2018. Fortunately, that worry has been taken care of.

Meet AlanTim, a robot that, in addition to having two first names, can call the police on hooligans, use logic to reason with hooligans, anticipate conflics before they happen and even wear a bowtie.

To prove AlanTim's effectiveness, the Moscow Technical Institute made this video, in which AlanTim is shown interacting positively with a man who has tattoos.

England Are Preparing For War Against Scotland

Later this week, England will play Scotland in a World Cup qualifier/remake of Mel Gibson's hit movie Braveheart. As such, England trained with the Royal Marines in order to better prepare themselves for, uh, something. Siege engines probably.

Gigi Buffon Has One More Chance To Chase His Champions League Dream

Gianluigi Buffon is 39 years old. He has just lost the Champions League final. He has lost the Champions League final three times. He has never won the competition. He has just one more chance.

From Gazzetta dello Sport:

"As far as I am concerned, I have one last chance. I still have a year on my contract, we're in the Champions League again so we will challenge to win it."

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