Surely you can find some kind of profound meaning in this video of a group of British lads encountering Manchester United attacker Jesse Lingard and completely losing their shit. You could probably ruminate on the nature of fandom, how we should all try to see things through the eyes of a child sometimes, to lend perspective.
Little kids are the best because of their lack of filter. This is clearly the best thing ever to happen to them (until the next best thing ever), and they're not afraid to express it. We should all be so lucky.
Summer is high-time for transfers and this might just be the most high-profile one yet. There's a lot to discuss in terms of the move itself — one of the biggest names in English football, John Terry, finishing out his career with Championship side Aston Villa.
However, much of the yesterday's buzz focused on the bizarre/unique/amusing way the club chose to deliver the news.
Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley is your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving, but if your uncle was an extremely wealthy businessman and Thanksgiving was every day.
The Telegraph has reported one of the most amazing stories of the year, detailing Ashley's alleged business practice of getting everybody on his management team trashed and then making decisions.
The likes of Arsenal, Everton, Leicester City, Newcastle United and Tottenham all saw the majority of their players return to the training ground for the start of preseason today. Many other sides, like Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea, will also begin their preparations this week.
A few of these players have twirls and twinkles toes and others . . . well . . . might have two left feet. We're looking at you, Ozil.
Everton have made a lot of noise in this summer’s transfer market after signing Jordan Pickford from Sunderland for £30 million and Davy Klaasen from Ajax for £23.5, but their most exciting signing yet was confirmed today, although 20-year-old Nigerian international Henry Onyekuru won’t be appearing at Goodison Park for another year.