James Bond Is Actually A Perfect Fit For Liverpool

Liverpool vs. Everton, the fabled Merseyside derby, always brings with it vast quantities of bad takes. Usually these are boilerplate blood-and-wine "it just means more" affairs, but one, from Talksport presenter Mike Parry, caught our attention.

Liverpool Hit 3 Worldies, Leaving Everton In Their Torrential Wake

Liverpool moved into third place in the Premier League with a scintillating victory over Everton in the Merseyside derby. Sadio Mane, Philippe Coutinho and Divock Origi struck for the home side while Matthew Pennington scored the lone Everton goal in Liverpool’s 3-1 victory.

Mane opened the scoring in the 8th-minute with a fantastic solo effort, driving past defenders before striking a low shot into the corner — his 13th league goal of the campaign. 

Here Are 10 Beautiful Passes From Paul Scholes Because You Deserve It

You’ve got to learn to appreciate yourself, and that begins with watching Paul Scholes raking cross-field passes right onto the feet of his sprinting teammates. You should be confident in who you are and what you do, because Paul Scholes was such an unbelievable footballer that the cosmos are truly in total balance. 

You, my friend, are a beautiful little ginger prince. Trust me, it's true.

Andros Townsend’s Remarkable 80-Yard Run Wins Goal Of The Month

Andros Townsend’s decision to leave Newcastle United after their relegation still doesn’t sit well with me. He was a poor man’s Arjen Robben, but that’s no bad thing. If he’s on the right, he’s cutting inside and he’s unleashing a left-footed shot that’s flying into the corner. At least that’s what happened during his 13 games at Newcastle.

Along with the rest of the Crystal Palace team he’s been awful this season. It’s hard to pinpoint where it’s gone wrong, but no it isn’t. Alan Pardew was the manager.

Chelsea Win Race To Sign 15-Year-Old Scottish Sensation Billy Gilmour

Aged only 15, top English clubs have already been scouting Rangers teenage sensation and Scotland youth international Billy Gilmour. Gilmour can't legally sign a contract with any team until he's 16, but Chelsea are rumored to have agreed to terms with both player and club.

Gilmour had also grabbed the attention of Manchester United and Bayern Munich. Disregarding all of the great opportunities that have been presented by the English clubs, it's difficult to understand why he'd choose Chelsea given their track record of loaning their young players.

Non-League Player Banned After Allegedly Threatening Fan With Knife

The best thing about first division football matches is they take place in gigantic stadiums with excellent security, which means that it is much more difficult for a footballer to go into the locker room and retrieve a knife and threaten a fan with it.

Yes, that is the best thing. You see, in the lower divisions there is far less security and therefore a far greater chance of a footballer menacing a spectator with a knife.