Cristiano Ronaldo

Real Madrid Have Work To Do With Cristiano Ronaldo's Ban Over

Cristiano Ronaldo's five-game ban for shoving a referee during the Spanish Super Cup has ended. This is good news for Madrid fans because, barring a promising win over Real Sociedad this weekend, they have not been the fire-breathing galactico dragon we all thought we were going to see.

Consecutive draws against Valencia and Levante put Madrid four points down from Barcelona, but now that the second-best player in the world is returning from suspension, Madrid will no longer have to rely on the heroics of Borja Mayoral to win games.

Cristiano Ronaldo Returns For Champions League, Obviously Scores

Real Madrid have missed Cristiano Ronaldo. The groomed one hasn’t suited up for Real Madrid since August August 23rd as CR7 is serving a 5 game suspension in La Liga for pushing a referee against Barcelona in the Spanish Super Cup. Cristiano is eligible to play in the Champions League and it was only right for him to open the scoring vs APOEL.

Marco Asensio Is Incredible. Will He Even Start Once Cristiano Ronaldo Comes Back?

Real Madrid's leading scorer so far this season is 21-year-old Spain international Marco Asensio, who has four goals in all competitions.

Asensio is the next great long-range shooter, having torn up Barcelona and Valencia for sagging off him. He's clearly an incredible talent and will be one of the world's best attackimg midfielders sooner rather than later, if he isn't that already.

This Product Promises You Abs Like Cristiano Ronaldo. And Eternal Nightmares.

I can't get this commercial out of my head. It's been around for a few years, but I hadn't seen it until last night and, well . . . 


I will have a tough time getting over this one. THE THINGS THESE EYES HAVE SEEN.

(shudders again)

Why does Cristiano Ronaldo have a pulsating spider on his tummy?

(shudders so hard I go into convulsions)