Chelsea

Revealed: The Reason Behind Francis Coquelin’s Explosion On Saturday

Chelsea’s victory over Arsenal on Saturday was marked by a strange phenomena that led to the end of midfield enforcer Francis Coquelin’s career. Coquelin was employed to stop suspicious characters from running straight through the Arsenal midfield, but he failed after suffering spontaneous human combustion while tracking Eden Hazard. 

He exploded into hellfire. There is no adequate explanation for this bit of poltergeist, in fact, referee Martin Atkinson adjudged it to be a foul, which is a pretty terrible way to treat someone who’s just suffered self-detonation.

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